Multiple Mania...

My newest adventure!

2010-06-06T22:29:00.001-07:00

I have taken on sewing as my newest hobby. I have been making GE tons of dresss. Having fun with my sewing machine and serger. Love to create! It is the artist in me that finally has time to break out now that the kiddos are seven and don't need me as much. This is my latest dress for GE's friend. Hope she loves it!

WHEWWW...that is me blowing off the dust

2010-04-23T10:26:00.001-07:00

I fixing it up for 2010! I haven't been on here for ages and just found some cute and free backgrounds. Will be back to update soon! So much to say...

They say it's your birthday

2008-04-24T20:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday now have the flu. I turned 36 on Saturday. Felt great. I told my husband I was so glad I survived another year. Then he was became so sick. We cancelled all plans for dinner out. I received no card from D or cake for my birthday. My husband is one of those people that likes to shop the day of your birthday. Wanted to take the kids that morning to shop and was going to bake with them. Then he started getting a horrible stomach ache. I doubted it. Men can be so dramatic when they are sick. Later though...he was sick. Icky intestional bug. So my birthday was spent with my three children, who I love dearly, but I wanted a break.

D was recovering on Sunday, so we went to a minor league baseball game we had tickets to with the kids whole t-ball team. Everything was going well. Then Sunday night came. All hell breaks loose.

LC started throwing up around 8pm and didn't stop until sometime around midnight. GT was crying and having horrible stomach pain. He ended up sleeping on the bathroom floor. Then Monday came and my birthday present arrived. I had the worst stomach pain and couldn't stop going to the bathroom. Happy F*****g birthday! I couldn't move all day. Thank God LC was feeling better. GT still had stomach pain. My poor kids didn't eat breakfast until 11am because I couldn't get out of bed for fear of throwing up everywhere. Luckily GE helped me out and got breakfast ready. I love my daughter for wanting to be a chef and always willing to get some food out for her brothers. D ended up coming home early and I laid in bed for two days. The kids all went to school on Tuesday and it took everything in me to pick them up that day. The teacher told me some exciting news...two kids went home with 103 degree fevers. Lovely.

Wednesday around 10am GE started throwing up. Poor thing she gets sick and it lasts and lasts just like me. I was just starting to feel better and cleaning up puke all day made me want to throw up. I seriously had to lay down. LC looked at me and he had such glassy eyes. I knew he had a fever. I took his temp and he had a temp of 102. WTF???? Make it stop! The poor thing just had the flu and now that damn fever from school hits him.

We cancelled our kindergarten roundup and t-ball practice and between me cloroxing and washing everything I was starting to feel really sick. Derek came home and I went to bed. Luckily GE finally stopped puking and LC's fever was taken care of with Tylenol.

Today, we are on the mend. I feel better. GT just had a really bad bout with constipation. GE was back to her normal talking non-stop self and LC still has a fever, but through the day it has gotten lower and by tonight it was only 99.

Thank goodness tomorrow is Friday and this week of illness is coming to an end.

Happy Birthday to me.

April Fun

2008-04-13T12:39:00.000-07:00

Boy have we been busy. D ended up finally taking some time off from work. We decided to take a trip to Disneyland last week. We went on Monday and stayed until Tuesday. We were in the park for a good 12 hours and driving home after that was too tiring. D had never been to any Disney park so he had so much fun. The kids are at a great age to enjoy every ride we went on and we went on almost every ride! They were more into the big kid rides then the kiddie rides. We even took them on the Matterhorn and Space Mountain! GT had to be brave and ride on those rides by himself, well sitting in his own row at least. Since we are a family of five most rides we had one man out. GT had no problem sitting alone. On Space Mountain he was a bit scared, but survived just fine!

It was a beautiful day and most of the spring breaks around here were over. We never waited in line more than 45 minutes except for the Nemo submarine ride. The kids were so good about waiting in line too. No complaining and by far the best behaved kids I saw in the park. We saw the parade around 4:30 and GE loved seeing all the princesses. That was her favorite part. We waited in line after to see Belle, Jasmine and another princess. She loved it. The boys loved the Pirates of the Carribean ride and Autotopia. We stayed to see the fireworks at 9:30 over the castle. They loved that. GE's highlight was seeing Tinkerbell fly over the castle.

We spent the night in a hotel by the maingate and woke up, ate at IHOP and came home. I thought I would be exhausted, but it wasn't so bad. I rested most of Tuesday and was fine by Wednesday.

Thursday we drove down to Carlsbad where they have the Flower Fields. They were absolutely beautiful and it was such a pretty day. We then went over to the outlets and I found a lot of clothes for me. An early birthday present since my birthday is next weekend. It was a great week with D and spending time as a family.

D convinced me to start more home improvement projects. God help me. We ordered the same cabinets we have in our kitchen for all three of our bathrooms. They are a cherry Kraftmaid. What started it is our countertop guy said he had enough silestone counter left over from our kitchen for our downstairs bath. Then he said we could have any of his silestone or granite remnants and we would just have to pay labor on them. That is a HUGE savings. So we ordered the cabinets and they should be in mid-May. It really is never ending projects around here and never ending money going out. At least we have a really nice house to show for it!

Change

2008-03-12T14:40:00.000-07:00

I came by this dusty old blog and found that my old design was taken down by the designer. Nice that she notified her old customers. Whatever. So I tried to re-do it the best that I could.

So many changes going on in my life. 2008 brings me kids who turned 5! When did that happen? I have three five year olds. Crazy. Yes, they do drive me crazy. The sibling rivalry drives me batty. They do get along for the most part and have been more involved in role playing. They call each other...Mom, Dad and Papa. They never call each other by their names. Is this weird? Or they pretend they are a whole different family like their T-Ball coaches family. I don't understand it. The boys are really, really into fighting and Power Rangers and shooting...everything boy! I only had one sister growing up and we were into dolls and playing house so this is all new to me. GE tends to join right in with the boys though. Or if they want to play with her they make her Barbie's beat up on one another. Always beating and killing. Where do they get this from? We have never even seen a Power Rangers show! I rarely let them watch tv, so it must be influences from school.

We had a huge birthday party for them at a place called Pump it Up...a bounce house warehouse. We had 24 kids and all the parents. It was a good time. The kids came home with an abundance of presents. We now own every toy known to man. My kids even told me to call the Easter bunny and Santa because they don't need any more toys! What kids says that?

We started a backpack program at their elementary school. Once a month they get to go and get a new backpack filled with library books and get a story read to them. This gets them familiar with the school that they will attend in the fall. I love it. They are so excited about reading all their new books and going to visit "their" school! In May they will meet all the kindergarten teachers. I already talked to the principal about keeping them all together. I think it is important for at least the first year. It is already going to be such a big change attending school every day that I want them to keep the support system that they have with all three of them together. I don't have one leader so I think it should be fine. At the end of the year I will reassess and see if they should be split up for first grade.

The kids had their first T-Ball game last Friday. It went great. They really love the team sports. It is so much fun for them. Their coach is a friend of ours and is so sweet. Three other kids on the team were on their soccer team. GE was very shy at first during the first two practices. She hates being in front of people and performing. The first game though she went right out and hit the ball and I was so proud of her. It was so cute seeing my kids on first, second and third base all at once! Loved it.

We finally finished the remodeling of our whole first floor. The kitchen is now complete and we have all new wood flooring on the first floor. It is a dark floor and looks great with our new cherry cabinets in the kitchen and all our cherry furniture. I am so pleased. I never want another home remodeling project though. These projects have been ongoing since 2005! Enough is enough! We just better never move.

D has been selected to be the XO of his squadron. He takes over that job in April I think. That should keep him out of Iraq for the rest of this year. I can't wait for him to end his current job this week. He is in charge of maintenance and he is rarely home. He works such long hours and it drives me crazy. This has been the job from hell for an entire year.

Some sad news is my friend who was my first friend out her in CA passed away on Tuesday from Leukemia. She found out last June a day after her 35th birthday that she had it. She did everything possible to fight it and live for her three beautiful children and wonderful husband. I will be attending her funeral tomorrow and I don't know how I am going to get through it. I am shocked and devastated by her death. It is going to be such a hard day of sadness. We have had so much death in our lives lately. My grandma passed away last summer and then D's grandma passed away in November. My aunt who was only 65 passed away in December. I really wish the death would stop around here. It really makes you treasure what you have and even when I am having a bad day due to my Lupus I realize how lucky I am.

Catch up

2007-11-29T20:44:00.001-08:00

Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Winter...geez once again I fell off the face of the Earth here. Things are so crazy this time of year. Halloween was great. The kids were so into everything this year. GE was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, LC was Buzz Lightyear and GT was a Red Power Ranger. Great fun! This is what I waited for for so many years. To see the holidays through my children's eyes. I love it. They immerse themselves in every aspect of every holiday and it is so delightful.

We had two Marine Corps Balls thrown in between Halloween and Thanksgiving. I went to one of them. Fun times to see old friends and a chance to dress up and look pretty. A great friend of ours watched our kids for the night so we could stay at the Hyatt in La Jolla. Mmmmmm is all I can say about that hotel. Yummy bed, bedding and room service. Lovely.

My brother-in-law came in and surprised the kids for a visit the week before Thanksgiving. The kids were ecstatic. What fun we had with him. We visited the Wild Animal Park and that was the biggest outing we did. The kids really enjoyed that day. I thought they were bored on the tram ride around the park because I didn't think they were listening to the tour guide. On the way home in the car GE and LC recited everything she said though as they played tour guide. I was cracking up. GE told her uncle that I never let them out of the house and that she feels trapped! I had to explain that when the fires were going on we couldn't play outside because of the air quality. Some of the things they say, I need a recorder!

Thanksgiving was very low-key. We went over a friend's house whose husband is in Iraq. Her family was crazy and it was a fun day. Plus I didn't have to cook but one dish. I loved that part!

I took the kids for their annual holiday pictures at P*cture People in the mall. Such a stressful ordeal. I thought we had some great pics, but I didn't like any of the three of them together good enough for a Christmas card. Then they had a upload mishap and I didn't get any good pics of LC. I was so pissed because I had to reschedule to take him back. Turns out though that it was a good thing because his pics turned out great on the re-shoot. They loved them so much they are using him as a model in the store! Too funny. We also saw Santa that day as we waited for our pics to print. He was by far the nicest Santa ever. He talked to each of the kids for about five minutes. He was so interested in each of them. It was really nice. I asked GE before we went to the mall what she was going to ask for from Santa and she told me she would have to bring her catalog. I couldn't stop laughing.

My sister is coming in for a visit on Saturday. I can't wait because the change of weather and craziness of the season has my Lupus flaring up a bit. I have been really worn down and had to take it easy the last couple of days. The extra help will be nice. She is going to stay for a week and then my mom will be here on the 17th until the 26th. Perfect.

D hung all our Christmas lights and we have them playing to the music. I am going to have to post a video because it really is cool. He is obsessed now and wants to add more this weekend. We are now the annoying house on the street with one million lights and music. The kids love it which makes me so happy. I love Christmas and look forward to fun times with family over the next couple of weeks.

Fire and ash

2007-10-29T11:36:00.000-07:00

It has been over a week now that the fires have been burning here. We still have smoke filled air and ash everywhere. We are the lucky ones though. The fires that are close are far enough away that we are safe. Although at times I though we might have to evacuate. I long for blue skies and fresh air. My kids are dying to go outside and play. We have been crafting away and playing dress-up. Now we are onto a play-doh marathon. God help me! I feel so sorry for everyone that has lost their houses. I just can't imagine. These are some pics I snapped from around our home.

Mt. Palomar burning
The Rice Fire
Mt. Palomar
Lake Arrowhead Burning
Mt. Palomar. Too close to home!

Tired, tired, oh so tired

2007-10-15T15:54:00.000-07:00

Today was a day I wish my kids were in school. I need a break. I have been with them too much over the past several days. Daddy has been preparing and flying in the airshow in San Diego and was gone Thursday, Friday, Satuday and Sunday. Then back to work today. I need a break like that. I wish I could have a break like that.

Saturday we had a 1pm soccer game. Finally, all my kids played well and kicked the ball and ran like mad. Every other week we have had two interested and one not so much. Never a warning as to who isn't into it that day. It drives me crazy, but this age is just like that. They have a mind of their own and that is that. Now I am thinking of signing them up for T-Ball. I think I might be crazy, but how will they know what they like and don't like if they don't try out stuff? GT has already informed me that he doesn't want to play. He is my lazy one and never wants to do anything until I force him and then ends up liking everything. LC and GE are all about T-Ball. GE even said to her brother GT why don't you play with us. You just might like it! He said no, so that is that. He will have to be there anyway since the other two are so excited about playing. I also want to sign GE up for dance. She is my little ballerina around here. That can be between soccer which ends in November and t-ball which doesn't start until the spring. They seem to love being involved in things and making new friends. As long as they are happy, I am happy. The less time we have to sit around home the happier we all are!

Saturday afternoon we drove down to San Diego for the airshow. We stayed in D's Officer Quarters on base Saturday night. That made parking easy for us. We had VIP tickets for a chalet and had the best view for the night airshow and fireworks.

Just phenomonal, but cold. I always forget that even though it is 80 during the day here it can get very chilly at night. The kids had on jeans and long sleeve shirts with jackets, but it was still cold! That night was the worst sleep I have ever had. The kids had to sleep on the floor in the main room of the suite and GE just wasn't happy. Moving all about and she still has an awful cough so it kept me and her up all night. I don't think we even slept an hour. Talk about exhaustion. We had to be up and out of the room by 8am. D headed off to the show and we had breakfast at McDonald's which my kids have only been to like twice before. They were so into breakfast there. Very funny. They called it the big M restaurant.

We then headed into the airshow. The kids were so excited and interested in all the static displays of aircraft. They crawled through every tank, jet, helicopter and plane that they could. You could just see the wonder in their eyes and they had a question about every aircraft. It was so fun. I just wish D could have been there with us. He was busy preparing for his demonstation though. We headed over to the grandstands for the airshow and the kids loved it all. They were telling everyone that their daddy was the one flying the helicopter. They were waving and saying "hi daddy" and it was just too adorable. After D flew we headed out and home. I was so exhausted and in bed by 9pm! When D came home around 7:30 the kids were talking non-stop to him about everything they saw and did. They went up to him and told him he did a really good job with no prompting from me. D said he had never seen them that excited. They really enjoyed their weekend not to mention spending some time with Daddy!

The kids in front of a C-130

GT "driving" the plane

D flying

Priceless

2007-10-11T23:06:00.000-07:00

GE to LC this morning in their playroom while they thought I was still sleeping...

"LC, when we get older we are going to take care of mommy. We will do everything for her because she does everything for us now. Even when she is sick and doesn't feel good she still takes care of us."

LC's reply..."mmhmmm yep, we will".

Germs, germs go away

2007-10-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

It is truly fall. Sick season. ICK! We just got over horrible colds and coughs and now this morning two more sick kids. What? Can't we have at least a week without germs. GE and LC had coughs again and raspy voices and the blahs. Once they were up and moving about they were fine. It is the night time, laying down, coughing fits that drive them and me crazy! They wanted to go to school, so I administered cough medicine and off they went.

We had a weekend jam packed with fun stuff for them. Friday was Daddy's birthday. 36 years old. We went out to eat and had a nice night of together time. The kids rarely see daddy during the week so they really enjoy their weekends with him. Saturday we had a 8 am soccer game, painfully early for us! My mom was still visiting so the kids loved having her watch them. Although my daughter was not interested in playing. She was very clingy and wanted to sit out the whole game. At least I have three that I can pull in or out of the game so her brothers played her quarter for her. We then had an afternoon birthday party for a friend in their class. What a chaotic party. At least 30 kids and just as many adults running through the house from backyard to frontyard. A Bounce house, Cinderella and Dynamite Dave doing balloons and magic etc. Crazy! The kids had a blast because all of their friends from school were there running like wild animals! We arrived at 3:30 and left around 6:30 and they still hadn't brought out the cake. It was my mom's last night in town though and I wanted the kids to spend some time with her before bed time.

Sunday I drove my mom to the airport at 6:30am (another painfully early morning) and didn't get back until 8:30. Two hours of driving is so much at that hour! I tried to take a nap when I got home, but the kids and dad thought differently. At least daddy made everyone some banana pancakes. Yum! We jetted off to another birthday part around 2:30 for a set of triplets that were turning 3. Our new friends we met in our town. They are so cute and I hardly remember my kids at that age! They had a huge bounce house as well and my kids were in it from 2:30 until 7pm! What a workout. We were all exhausted by Sunday night and spent most of Monday recuperating. D was off for Columbus day and the kids really enjoyed another bonus day with daddy.

Fuming

2007-10-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

To Whom It May Concern:

I am so angry. I am not in the military. I can choose what I want to do with my time. I have Lupus. I have triplets. I am tired...all.the.time. Leave me alone. I did my part for seven years. I volunteered for everything. I wrote a newsletter once a month for Commander's wives. I do not want to go to your meetings, mixers, hail and farewell's, happy hours every week. I...AM....TIRED!!!!!!! Don't you people get it?????

Every ounce of energy I have goes towards running my house...because my husband is NEVER home...and towards my children. My three children that are age four. A very active age four. Oh and trying to stay healthy enough to take care of those children every day, since their daddy works so hard trying to do his job the best he can even though no one ever notices.

Thank you and goodnight

Who are these kids?

2007-09-30T22:44:00.000-07:00

Sick, sick, sick...check that off of the list! My kids have voices like they are 16 years old. They are so raspy and deep that I can't tell who is who! If I am not looking at them they all sound alike. Very weird. Coughing seems to be the main problem after fevers went through all of them. They are hanging in there and enjoying their time with nana so much though. My mom has been so helpful and letting me sleep in every day. I need that so much since we have been busy every day. Not doing anything too exciting just hanging out and shopping around my town.

My mom went to the kids soccer game on Saturday. Even though they don't really get the game at this age it is fun to watch them. It is frustrating when they run the other way or run in circles around the ball and other team, but I guess that is how they learn. On their own. They are growing so much each day. I can't believe they will be in kindergarten next year.

D and I finally got new cell phones this weekend. Our contract with suckulair/AT&Totally awful ended. Network with the least dropped calls...my as.s. My phone didn't work from road a to b and road c to d. I am so happy with my new carrier. Yippee for my new phone too. I love it.

My sister called today with news she had a new addition to her family. She and her husband adopted a new black lab. They are so excited. I am excited for her too. She has been trying to get pregnant for years and I think this is a good diversion for her. She sent me some cute pics. I wish I lived near her to have my kids see the puppy. My dog is such a nutcase. It would be fun to see a new puppy. LC is such a pet lover. He would have fun with a puppy. By our next visit to Michigan the puppy will be as large as my golden.

We are hoping to squeeze in the zoo this week. I hope my energy can keep up.

One...Two...punch

2007-09-25T22:46:00.000-07:00

We were having a marvelous day yesterday. We picked up my mom from the airport in the morning. The kids were ecstatic to see "nana"! LC said what are we going to do now mama? Go to the beach or what? He cracks me up because he always asks a question and ends it with or what? We decided to take him up on his idea since it was such a beautiful day and took a walk on the beach on Coronado. We walked the beach in front of the Hotel Del. Heavenly. The kids were mad we weren't staying to play. Nothing like a beachy breeze to make you smile and want to stay, but we were not dressed for the beach.

We walked over to Marie Callendar's for lunch and sat outside enjoying the sun. I am rarely down in San Diego so we stopped over at the huge military exchange which is like a mall. I wanted to check out what they had on sale. I bought GT some new Crocs and a couple clearance clothing items for all of them. Then we headed over to the toy building. I wanted to see what toys they had got in for Christmas. I had the kids sit on some bikes to test them out. They are at an awkward stage right now. They are too small for a bigger bike and too big for the little bike. They really want them for Christmas. We will see. Instead I bought them a Big Wheel. I remember having one when I was little and had so much fun on it. The kids L.O.V.E. it!!!! My mom wanted me to buy three. I said no. One would be fine. They really don't have a problem sharing and taking turns. Today, they did just that which made me so proud.

The one...two... punch is GE was so exhausted last night. We were starting to watch Dancing with the Stars and I decided it was better for them to go to bed. 8pm is their bedtime and they were so tired. GE told me she wanted her daddy to carry her up to bed. She said she had a headache and tummy ache. I thought she was just so tired although she did feel a little warm. The minute D and GE got upstairs GE threw up every where. She was so upset because she didn't make it to the potty. Poor baby. I showered her and cleaned up everything and she went right to sleep. Thank goodness she never threw up again! When someone throws up it makes me feel ill. It is so hard to clean up. Some how as a mom I put all that aside and you do what you have to do. After such a long day I was exhausted, but I some how found the energy to get everything back to normal!

This morning she was tired, but acted pretty normal. She didn't eat much all day. Just toast and crackers. She played around with her brothers on the big wheel, but then had to lay down. She had a fever and was feeling crummy again. Boo, I hate it when my kids are sick. She was so funny though and told me I can't stand it when I am sick! Then while the kids were eating dinner LC looked all glassy eyed and I could tell he wasn't feeling good. I took his temp and it was 101. Darn it! I gave him some Tylenol and then he perked up a bit. I really hope GT doesn't get it or me! At least my mom is here to help!

Getting it all out

2007-09-20T23:05:00.000-07:00

Darn me. I think about writing so often. Capturing my little ones phrases, conversations and craziness. This is a funny, funny time in their lives. They are so opinionated and inquisitive. Why comes out of their mouths so many times during the day. They are so self sufficient it shocks me some days. I realize how lucky I am to have such smart kids that help me out when I am feeling down and sick. Oh, they drive me crazy though. They are so fiercely independent that they don't want to listen to me. They know the answer. They talk back and want the last word all...the...time. A little hug from them though calms me most days. Their smiles make me smile. I feel like we are a unit. The four of us since daddy works so much and flys so much. We have our routine and it is good.

I am so stressed right now which isn't good. I have the deepest pit in my stomach. I need to breathe. Be calm. Stress isn't good for Lupus. I am tired of the military. I want my husband to retire. Six more years. My husband is up for orders next year and there is talk of sending us to the East Coast. Not.happy.at.all. I will not go. I will not move. I will not sell my house. I will not leave my doctors. I have worked so hard setting up a life here. We have no family near us. I have had to work so hard to make friends which have become our family. Friends that would do anything for us. I will not start over on the East Coast when we eventually want to live in California always and forever. 11 years here. I need to put this aside and be done with this. There is nothing I can do right now. I hope to be put into a exceptional family member program due to my Lupus. Hopefully that will be enough to keep us from moving. Blah. I am so angry. I feel like I need a drink and I don't drink. Or a good run really fast. I hate working out!

So, I need to start writing again because writing is a good outlet for me. I need to take all my journaling that is handwritten over the past months and put it back on here. So many things have happened that I would like to record on here because I have a good blog history going.

We visited my family in Michigan for two weeks in June. My grandma passed away in July. My kids started soccer in August. They are the cutest soccer players ever. I had my chemotherapy drugs lowered. We remodeled our kitchen. My best friend ever is having twins. Gosh, so much I want to indulge on.

I'm back. I am going to write and get it all out and try to have writing make me sane! Sane as one can be with four year old triplets and Lupus and being at the military's will.

Dodging bullets and other fun with triplets

2007-05-18T11:26:00.000-07:00

Illness, life, military, kids get in my way. I have no time to to blog or do anything really. Here is my little update though...

I turned 35 on April 19th. Yikes. 30 used to seem old and now I am way past that. On my birthday, D was in Vegas, GE was horribly sick with a 103 temperature, I came down with what she had which was the flu without the throwing up and my other two were on the verge of getting it too. That morphed into double pink eye for everyone (including me), double ear infections for LC, a horrid sinus infection which two rounds of 1800mg of antibiotics just knocked out of me on May 18th! I have been sick for months with Lupus flares and gunk. Tiring.

GE went through a month of waking up several times a night. Just claiming she wasn't tired. Waking up the whole house with her screaming fits of not wanting to go back to bed. That exhausts me more than just getting up and putting her back to bed. Thank God I am done with babies because I couldn't go through that again. The night wakings and feedings. Blah!!!

GE was up most of the night last night coughing her head off. They can't be getting sick again. I am hoping it is just allergies. Everything is in full bloom with winds whipping pollen and fluff around. I put vicks on her and gave her cough medicine last night around midnight. I was determined to have them in school today. For not sleeping all night she was very giggly this morning. GT came in my room this morning and said his eyes were all watery. They looked a bit goopy. Pink eye can't be on the rebound. I cleaned him up and put those drops in again. Can't hurt even if he doesn't have it. I feel like we live in a vicious circle around here of illness. They were all coughing and breathing on me and it was like I was dodging bullets. I kept telling them not to cough or breathe or even look at me. Poor kids are going to have such a complex. I finally feel good after almost two months of sickness for me.

I see my nephrologist on Monday. I am asking him about getting off this chemo drug even though my rheumatologist wants me to stay on it. This pill is what is killing my immune system. I just want off of it and I have been on it for 9 months now.

Going to get my haircut today. I haven't had it cut since October I think. My hairdresser quit cutting hair. I called her and then finally heard back from her. She said she was too busy with school and graduating to fit it in. Said goodbye and that was it. After 10 years of having her cut my hair I was a little thrown off. Goodbye just wasn't good enough closure for me! ha ha. So I am going to another lady at the same salon that I have known just as long as Maria as she has always cut hair right next to her. We will see. My hair is way past my shoulders and driving me crazy. I wear it up every day because it is just easy since I never dry it or anything. A bit blah though.

Still no word on my cabinets. Oh, I never mentioned that we are remodeling our kitchen. Cherry Kraftmaid cabinets with Silestone counters. The cabinets are hopefully coming in next week. I have been living in chaos and dust since the end of March. Kind of adds a new level of stress around here. Oh what fun!

D should be home in a week. He is out in the desert. I have barely heard from him because he is so busy and when he does call I can't really hear him because of all the helicopters flying around.

We have been staying busy going to the park, playing in the backyard and crafting. The kids love to cut out pics in magazines and glue them down. GE is a bit obsessed with it. Loves crafting. Just give her glue, scissors and construction paper and she will be busy for hours!

The other day she came up to me and asked me "are you ready to par-tay? What? She cracks me up.

LC and GE are getting good at writing their names. GE wrote "color" the other day by herself. Copied it off the crayon box. Came up and showed me what she wrote! I was amazed. GT can finally spell his name by himself. He is quite proud. I have to tell LC and GE to be quiet when he starts or they try and spell it out for him before he even gets the G out of his mouth.

Well, going to enjoy my day alone, kid free, germ free and in silence!

Happy 4th Birthday

2007-02-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

Four years ago I couldn't keep my babies in my belly anymore. It was time for them to come out and see the world. Gosh, I can't believe that was four years ago!!! Everyday seems so long, yet they years click on by. I remember seeing each of them for the first time. So tiny and fragile. I never worried too much about them though. I just knew they would be fine and grow and become my beautiful children.

GE is so headstrong and smart. She put together all our puzzles the other day. On her own. They are about 30 pieces each. She colors so beautifully. Stays inside the lines and really concentrates. She is definitely the leader of the pack around here. She doesn't let the boys get away with anything and puts them in their place if they try to! She is lost without her "brothers" and loves them so much. She is my mommmy's girl and loves to snuggle and check up on me all day every day. GE is into everything girl...princesses, mermaids, barbies and dressup. Loves to be pretty and have her hair done and wear dresses. So much fun for me!

GT is my closet smarty pants. He is stubborn so when you want him to count or figure something out he won't. If it is on his terms though he blows me away with his knowledge. He gets frustrated easily, but if you walk him through something it is amazing what he can do. He is so sensitive and loving. He really needs extra attention and I still think as I did from day 1 that he should have been an only child. He loves one on one time. He loves being a helper and especially enjoys helping daddy. He is really good with his hands and loves his tools. Dinosaurs, cars and trucks are his favorite now and the little car noises he makes when playing are so cute.

LC is my sly little guy. He is quiet yet mischievious. He loves his brother and sister. He loves to make up games and songs and gets the other two to play along. He is train obsessed and has a memory that shocks me. I think he knows every train in the Thomas book we have. He is really good at the puzzles and coloring too. He really concentrates when he is doing something. LC is sensitive, but once you give him a kiss or hug he is good to go. Elephants and trains, trains and elephants those are LC's favorite.

The boys were up today at 6:30 am! I went in and gave them all a huge kiss and sang Happy Birthday to them. They had to go to school this morning. They were excited to go to school for their birthday! We are having a party at 3:30 at school for them. I ordered two cupcake cakes for the party. The boys have a Superman theme and for the girls a princess theme. I made gift bags for all their friends. 30 of them!! Took me a week to get them together. D and I will be at their party for the festivities. I am excited for them. They each wore little pinned on ribbons that announced they were four. This is the first age that they really are into their birthday. It is fun. We are going out to dinner tonight with their best triplet friends.

A full day of birthday fun. I said to them that I couldn't believe my babies were four. They all shouted back that they are kids not babies. Oh right, although they really will be my babies forever.

Happy Valentine's Day

2007-02-14T20:07:00.000-08:00

Today is the day of love. Lucky for me all my kids told me they loved me today. No meltdowns just happy kids!

I slept horrible last night because poor GE had a horrible headache and was very sick yesterday. She went to bed early and I was so worried about her last night I hardly slept. Why would a almost four year old get a headache?

She was super chipper this morning getting ready for school and they were all so excited for their big party at school. Why didn't anyone tell me that Valentine's day at preschool is a big day? I had little Valentine's for them to pass out and I thought that was good enough. Apparently not. My kids came home with so much loot it was like Halloween on steroids! Toys, special lunch totes, squeezers, balloons and candy galore. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing that I didn't send in anything special. They had enough stuff for 10 kids! Good thing their 4th birthday (gulp) is next week. We can go all out at school for that. Some kids even had homemade Valentine's. Jealous....yes! I was an art major in college. That is something I always wanted to do...be creative and do fun things with my children. I am just soooooo tired all the time. I know one day I am going to regret all the fun things I didn't do with my kids. Ahhhhh.

Anyway, they had a great day. They received all kinds of fun cards from family too. My grandma their great nana sent them each $10.00. They were estatic. LC, who is obsessed with money lately went bonkers. He was so excited. He said....I'm rich! I have alot of money mom! Cute. Tonight they told me what they wanted to buy with their money. GE said she was going to buy a new house. Must be all the model homes we constantly drag them too! LC said he was going to buy a new train and a mirror? Why, a mirror? What an odd thing to say! GT said he was going to buy a pool and new swimsuits for everyone. They are already sick of winter...our 60-70 degree winter! Gotta love that.

D had to fly tonight. I am on edge about that. 5 years ago tonight a close friend of ours died in a helicopter crash in the desert. Exactly where D is flying. Holding my breath and awaiting a phone call when he lands. We celebrated this morning by having breakfast at IHOP. How romantic.

TGIF

2007-02-09T12:48:00.000-08:00

Lovely day because it is a school day for my kiddos. By Friday's I am tired. This week especially, since D has flown every night this week. That means it was all me all week, day and night. So looking forward to a break this weekend. I had to put my kids in bed by 7pm last night because I just couldn't stand the meltdowns, tantrums, screaming and everything else.

I have had the worst sinus headaches this week. Two nights when I put the kids to bed at 8pm I put myself in bed too. I just couldn't take my throbbing head. I saw my ENT doctor on Wednesday and he said I have a completely blocked left sinus cavity. He wants to do surgery and go in my nose and suck or drain out all the slop. Sounds fun doesn't it? Maybe I will be without these daily headaches though! I guess they put me to sleep and it is only a 15 minute procedure. No packing or anything either. Should help me out when I get colds too so that they don't turn into a sinus infection.

Also saw my rheumatologist that day. He took me off of Prednisone all together. Insisted on keeping me on my chemo drug though until my next appt in April. He claims that the Prednisone has more side effects than Cellcept. Complete opposite of what my nephrologist told me. He said since the chemo drug is so new that not enough studies have been done to know the long term effects of cellcept. Who to believe? I am frustrated. I really wanted to come off of my chemo drug. I stopped the Prednisone on Thursday. I have been quite achy. Not sure if it is the weather or stopping the pred. I feel like I have lifted weights for hours and my muscles are so tired.

More cuteness out of my kids mouths....

I was asking GT to scratch my back while we snuggled in bed. I said why don't you draw me some pictures? He said mommy...no pictures will come out of my fingers!

GE was cracking up from a joke she was telling LC. I was looking at her wondering what the heck was so funny. She came up to me and said...Bawk Bawk....she told me to say...Who's There? She said...Chicken and laughed the cutest little belly laugh. She fell down she was laughing so hard.

The kids and I went to the waterfall at the front of our neighborhood this week. Took some cute Valentine pics in their new shirts. I sent them off to Shutterfly and they are all ready to be sent out. Love, love, love Shutterfly! Off to address them...

Kid talk

2007-01-31T15:42:00.000-08:00

A week ago I walk into my kids preschool to pick them up and LC and GE coming running up to me screaming "mommy"! It is fun to have all my kids get so excited to see me! Miss V, their teacher, tells me that LC and GE had a great day, but GT had a rough one. Not what I wanted to hear. I said okay what happened? She proceeded to tell me that GT hit GE in the mouth and gave her a fat, bloody lip. I was like okay, I can deal with that because at least he hit one of my children! Then she told me he later locked his friend Kevin in the closet. I rolled my eyes and said oh he must have been upset. She said oh yes, he was quite traumatized. Damn GT. He is so rough with wrestling and playing and now he is locking other little boys in closets. So we had a nice chat about why you don't lock your friends in the closet. He had all treats, TV and his favorite dog taken away until he had a good day at school and learned a lesson. GT's rationalization was it isn't scary in the closet and if it is too dark just turn on a flashlight. I said, Kevin didn't have a flashlight. GT told me that Kevin should because he has one on his work bench. Oh...the mind of an almost four year old!

~~~~~~

On Monday, I gave the kids a cookie around 4pm so they would hold off for a later dinner. After dinner they wanted some candy (suckers they had from a birthday party at school) and I told them no. You already had a cookie and that was your treat for the day. LC runs up to me and says....but mom, we want more sugar!!!

~~~~~~

The kids were playing inside all day yesterday because it was raining and they were getting bored. They looked up from their Lincoln Logs that they were using as missles, after I told them to cool it, and the boys said....Mommy please put on a movie so we will be quiet!

~~~~~~

A week ago GE looked at her brothers (as she calls them or her boys) and said Hey boys, what are we going to do? How about we make a mess? How about that idea?

They are all cracking me up lately with everything that comes out of their mouths!

Lunch time

2007-01-26T12:48:00.000-08:00

I made these cookies yesterday with the kids. Yum, they are my favorite. Sad, but I think this is my lunch. Feeling icky again today. I can't tell if it is just really, really dry in my house and that is the reason my throat feels like sandpaper or is it Lupus? Cold? Annoyed.
~~~~~
A good thing happened today. My sister went to her doctor to get a full health workup. She has been trying to get pregnant forever and has severe endometriosis as I do. Anyway she asked her doctor to run an ANA test on her like they did on me to diagnose my Lupus. Unfortunately it came back positive. No, that is not the good thing. Her doctor then referred her to a rhuematologist and he gave her good news that just because I have it and she has a positive ANA doesn't mean she will get Lupus. Just to be safe he is running extensive bloodwork on her. She has no symptoms so he wasn't worried. I pray that she doesn't fall into this Lupus web like I did. Especially since she desperately wants to have children.
~~~~~
I have a long story about GT and school, but it is 1pm and I have yet to shower or do a thing around my house. I hate wasting days when the kids are in school. I have had a hour long conference call though about a new venture I am entering. More on that later too.

Kitchen Talk

2007-01-24T15:48:00.000-08:00

My Kitchen

My Dream Kitchen

We have been looking at model homes lately for landscaping ideas. We really want to re-do our landscaping in the front and backyard here. Everytime I go through the homes though I get sucked in by the kitchens. Oh how I want cherry or maple cabinets, stainless steel appliances and granite countertops. I am so sick of white and white tile and a blah kitchen. After living in our house ten years it needs a re-do. Any donations would be gladly accepted!

Appointments galore

2007-01-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

Into another year and things are as crazy as ever. Doctor appointments on top of doctor appointments and we have been busy with "mandatory fun" (what we call mandatory events in my husbands squadron). Then more damn sickness for me. Colds...when will it be spring?

January 2nd LC had a echocardiogram done on his heart. Here is a little background...He has always had a heart murmur and when we switched to a civilian doctor out of the military hospital I mentioned it to his doctor. I told her the past doctors always told me he would outgrow it and not to worry. His new doctor told me it may be nothing, but why don't we confirm that and referred me to a cardiologist. We went and saw him and he listened to his heart longer than anyone ever has. He said from what he heard it didn't sound like everything was great nor did it sound like anything was wrong. He was classified in a grey area. So he sent us to get the echo done for futher analysis and he would call us with the results.

LC did great during his appt. which took about 45 minutes. He had to lay still on a table while they rubbed the machine over his chest capturing the pictures. For a three and a half year old I would say that is great! He didn't talk he just held on to his train and watched SpongeBob on the TV they had. Two weeks later we finally hear from the doctor. I made D talk because I get so worked up about my kids I wouldn't have remembered a thing about the call. The outcome is this...LC has a pulmonary valve above the right ventricle that is the problem. The valve doesn't properly close and lets blood leak back into the right ventricle. This makes his heart work harder than it should. Not a huge problem and shouldn't affect him in anyway related to activity. It just has to be closely watched. So every year he will get another echo to monitor if it is getting worse, better or staying the same. If it does get worse the valve would have to be replaced. Best case though would require nothing. Hoping for the best.

This news was just upsetting to me. You always want the best for your children. It through me back into my time at the NICU where I spent 1o weeks of uncertainty about all three of my children's health. The up and down and never knowing. The doctor made it sound like it wasn't something to be worried about. Just to be watched and monitored. I am so glad, once again, that we switched out of the naval medical web of nonsense. They screwed me over for so long and if LC wasn't checked and monitored who knows what could have happened.

January 15th I had an appointment with my nephrologist to review my bloodwork and 24 hour urine analysis. This was to determine when I can go off of my chemo drug I have been taking for my kidney involvement with Lupus. Finally, good news. My bloodwork came back good and my protein level was almost back to normal. It was at 153 and 150 and below is normal!!!! So kidneys are functioning well and I have been given the okay to discontinue the chemo as of February 20th which will be the sixth month marker. Going off of this drug will greatly improve my immune system. I think I am picking up colds/flus from the kids even though they aren't getting them anymore. Their immune system is finally building and mine is at a standstill. Battling another cold/flu right now that is kicking my butt.

D had a surgery on January 10th. He had the long awaited vasectomy! Yeah...no more kids...no more kids...no more kids! He did well. He is still sore, but healing good. He was off that Wednesday until Tuesday when he had a half day. It was a nice long weekend with him home yet we did have our "mandatory fun" thrown in. We had some events we had to attend on Saturday that kind of annoyed me, but we did bring the kids. Somehow that made it more bearable for me. Did I just say that? I enjoyed having them with us!

Everyone has been pretty good behavior wise. My daughter is still a drama-queen and has her memorable meltdowns at least twice a week. I don't know if I am just used to them or what, but overall I am pretty happy with them. They have been playing together so great and say some funny things. Like last night when we ran out of their fruity flavored toothpaste and they had to use our Crest with Scope toothpaste. They all thought it was spicy! Any movie they have watched lately morphs them into the characters. They watched Hook and became pirates and GE was Tinkerbell. She really thought she could fly. Then she became Eloise and was passing out birthday invitations just like she did in the movie. It really is cute.

Into 2007...

2007-01-05T15:38:00.000-08:00

Christmas was fantastic. The kids were so cute and so excited. On the 23rd we had a fun cookie decorating party with our best triplet friends. They had a blast topping every cookie with a pound of icing, sprinkles, sugar crystals and mini kisses. My parents who were visiting had fun seeing all six kids interact.

Our Christmas Eve tradition has always been to open family gifts after a big dinner. We had a lovely ham dinner with all the sides then our decorated cookies for dessert. Everyone in the house had taken a nap so we were well rested for the gift exchange. The kids were so into every gift they received. Last year it was all about ripping off the wrapping and then on to the next gift. This year they loved the gifts and wanted to open them up and start playing. I had to keep saying, but there are more gifts to open! They were so appreciative and said they received to much! What 3.5 year old says that? We put them in bed and awaited Santa's arrival.

The wake up was around 7:30 on Christmas morning. The boys ran into our room. We told them we had to wait to go downstairs until their sister woke up. So LC ran down the hall yelling "wake up GE"! She ran in and we made our way downstairs. Santa came alright. He left a lot of loot too.

GE received a lot of barbies, the barbie hot tub party bus, dress up clothes, movies and a new cabbage patch doll.
LC received a lot of Thomas the Tank trains and accessories, puzzles, books, legos and movies.
GT received a new tool bench with tons of tools, transformers, puzzles, Tinkertoys and games.

We had to pry the kids away from the festivities to eat breakfast and then they opened their stockings. Christmas was a beautiful day and around 70. Nana and Papa left on the 26th and we really miss the help. I was sick all through Christmas and New Years with a cold that turned into a sinus infection and then an ear infection. Stuff I have never had in my life! Turns out I have bilatereral sinusitis and now have to see an ENT (ear, noses and throat doctor) for help with that. 1000 mg of Cipro and 1750mg of Amoxicillin cleared me up for now. Crazy dose amount!

New years was quiet. We had our triplet friends over on the day of New Years to watch Michigan lose the Rose Bowl. Boo. A quiet day with a yummy bbq with rice and beans, homemade guacamole, salsa and chips. Yum!

This month is filled with doctor appts for me, D and LC. Hope to update more about all that soon. So happy to be into 2007 though. I want to put 2006 behind me and forget about it!

The long awaited update!

2006-12-17T23:23:00.000-08:00

Geez, I thought I would be good about updating this forever. Just isn't happening. I am running in circles a week before Christmas. How did it get to be the week before Christmas already? Where did this year go? When I look back it seems like so much happened and it was definitely a trying year for me, my kids and D. Somehow though we all got through and we are all hanging on trying to make it to 2007. This next year has to be better. Please let my health be better and please let there be NO trips to Iraq!

My kids are cute and so different then they were last year at this time. So opinionated, independent and self-sufficient. Little people. I try to cuddle them like babies and they get mad saying they are kids not babies. I had my friends triplets babysit them on Friday night and they said they didn't need babysitters because they aren't babies. So we had to call them "kidsitters"! They are really into Christmas this year which is so fun. I think I am more excited about it than them though. Just so anxious for Christmas Eve to get here to see their faces filled with wonder and excitement about the whole holiday.

We have been sick non-stop here since August. The downfall of preschool. The past month I think we have had one day of wellness. LC and GE had 102 fevers today and were just lifeless little things. So sad. I just had the flu last weekend and was throwing up so much I lost 8lbs! Not good for a girl that has a hard time gaining and keeping weight on. I was so weak this week trying to manage. My mom and step dad came out on Saturday and will be here until after Christmas. The kids love Nana and Papa visiting. Me too, I need them here so I can get some gifts wrapped!

I have been feeling pretty good Lupus wise. Just the minor aches and pains. I am down to 5mg of prednisone and hopefully can come off that darn chemo drug in early Jan. The only thing that has been kicking my butt is having no immune system. It seems every time I look at my children I pick up a bug, sniffle, sore throat etc. It is so hard this time of year. I try to wash my hands and purell and clorox, but everything gets me. It is draining and exhausting to be sick and tired when you already are sick and tired from Lupus, triplets and a military husband.

Now some catch up... My grandma had surgery and had several cancerous tumors removed. They are confident they removed the cancer, but she has to be on her drugs to keep it at bay for some time. They make her very sick so she hasn't been taking them. At 90 something what can you do?

Halloween was so fun. The kids were adorable. GE was Cinderella, LC was Mickey Mouse and GT was Captain Hook. They had so much fun and we took them out for quite some time and decided to come home for a break. I was done and wanted to stay home, but they weren't. Dad and Nana took them back out for much longer. What a blast!

In November D and I went to 2 Marine Corps Balls. We actually had a lot of fun at both. The first was on a yacht in the San Diego Bay. It was huge and such fun. The second was at the Hyatt in La Jolla. My mom was in town for both so we stayed the night at both which is a rare occurance for us! I loved the Hyatt. The best bed ever and pillows were like sleeping in heaven.

Thanksgiving was bad because we were all so sick with colds. We were invited to a friends house and we didn't end up going because we didn't want to infect everyone. We stayed in our pj's all day and played games. Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, match games and watched movies. It was a pretty good day. Our friends were so nice that they sent over a platter of food for us so we did actually have some turkey and all the fixings!

December has been busy with holiday parties and more. The kids preschool party, our best triplet friends fourth birthday party at Build-A-Bear, D's squadron party etc. At the squadron party Santa flew in on the helicopter. The kids loved that! They all sat on Santa's lap this year with not a tear!!!! We took holiday pictures and that was painful, but I did end up getting some cute pics for my Christmas cards. I mailed those out last week. I have hardly received any and I am bummed. I love this time of year and reading all the cards and seeing all the pictures. I sent out 70 cards and I would love to get 70 back. What is with everyone?

If I don't make it back on before the next two holidays...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!!

Happy, happy, joy, joy

2006-10-06T13:37:00.000-07:00

Loving my kidlets lately. They were so good yesterday when mommy was so tired. We had to run some errands and pick up some things since it was D's birthday. Everyone was so helpful and listened and in good moods. RARELY happens with three three year olds! They are funny. GE was telling GT that mommy was a bit crabby (I so was not) and that he better be good and not piss mommy off. Oh my! They told me I am so fun and pretty just like Minnie Mouse and proceeded to call me Minnie all day. I wish I could bottle yesterday and bring it out when things are rough.

It went from being 9000 degrees here to 68 today. So bizarre. I love it though. I am so sick of tank tops and shorts I could scream. Bring on fall even though I love summer, I am tired of it.

Bad news came searching us out again. My grandma has breast cancer. She had a mammogram a year ago that looked suspicious and it was noted that she might have breast cancer. She is so stubborn and hates doctors that she refused to do anything about it. Well, one year later she is in so much pain and has been binding up her breasts to keep the one from hurting so bad. She finally had an appt to schedule a biopsy. She was angry and I am sure scared, but crazy and irrational with the doctor. Telling her she was a liar and maybe she would just die in her sleep. The doctor informed her that while we would all like to die a peaceful death like that, the cancer had probably spread now. If she doesn't get it taken care of (huge tumor removed) she would likely be in massive pain for the rest of her time her on Earth. At 91 my grandma does and says what she wants. She left screaming and going insane as she left the office. Her biopsy/removal was scheduled for Oct 11th. When she got home she immediately cancelled the appt and told my mother that the doctor had no clue as to what she was talking about. Sometimes it is way more work to argue than to just say it's your body, do what you want. My mother did just that. Me and my sister convinced her to get the surgery and then she wouldn't be in so much pain. Maybe it would keep her alive long enough to see her great grandchildren (my triplets) one more time. She misses them so much and hasn't seen them since May 2005. I told her we would probably be coming back to Michigan sometime in the Spring. Hoping she keeps this appt and gets it taken care of. Me, the kids and D are walking in the Race for the Cure next Sunday. I will be walking for my mom who is a breast cancer survivor as well as my aunt and now my grandma. Scary having that much breast cancer so close to me and my sister.

Going to enjoy some family time and maybe venture to the Great Corn Maze here on our corner on Saturday. I think the kids will enjoy it more this year. Then plan to see our other triplet friends and hang out. D is off for Columbus day so it should be a nice long weekend!

Results are...

2006-09-27T09:45:00.000-07:00

I received the results of my kidney biopsy last week. My doctor was into explaining everything about the disease again and it was like listening to a book while I was screaming inside "just tell me the damn results"!!!! He wouldn't get to the point and I was about to jump out of my skin waiting. I heard blah, blah, blah...benign, positive findings, good outcome. By this time I had to jump in and say "what stage am I in"? Finally, he said Stage 2. Below is the Classification System for Lupus Nephritis from the World Health Organization.

I
Normal
No evidence of lupus nephritis on the kidney biopsy.

II
Mesangial Nephritis
Most mild form of lupus nephritis; typically responds completely to treatment with corticosteroids.

III
Focal Proliferative Nephritis
Very early stage of more advanced lupus nephritis;typically treated with high doses of corticosteroids, with excellent outcome.

IV
Diffuse Proliferative Nephritis
Advanced stage of lupus nephritis with definite risk of loss of kidney function; typically treated with high doses of corticosteriods combined with immunosuppressive drugs.

V
Lupus Membranous Nephropathy
Generally associated with excessive protein loss and edema; typically treated with high doses of corticosteroids, with or without immunosuppressive drugs.

So what that means is I will stay on my chemo drug Cellcept for another six months at a lower dosage of 500mg per day. Then in six months I will have another 24 hr urine analysis and if all looks good I can go off of the drug. YEAH! So relieved.

I see my rheumatologist today and I am hoping that he will lower my predisone from 20mg a day to 10mg a day. I have been feeling fine Lupus wise, so there is really no reason he shouldn't.

I do still have a nasty cold where I am coughing up so much green slop it is grossing me out. Now D and I both have colds and no voices. I am so sick of being sick. Hoping it will pass.

D has been getting lots of projects done around the house. He added on to our deck for the massive amount of kids toys we have. We also needed it because a good chunk of our deck is taken up by our hot tub now. This weekend he just has to stain the new part and it will be done.

I just got a new computer which I am thrilled about. I had my other desktop fixed by a friend and it was still crashing and freezing up every time I went to do anything. It was driving me crazy. We ended up with the HP Pavilion m7680n TV Minitower. Can I just say I am in LOVE! I can watch TV on my computer and record shows just like my TIVO! How fun. Plus it will actually support my crazy picture taking habit and I can make movies from all my pics and videos I take and put them to music. Jumping up and down right now. Now that I am feeling better, the kids are in school and I have some time I can scrapbook and have fun with this new computer!

Maybe I just might update my blog a little more too!

Catching up with a postive spin

2006-09-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

I had my surgery on the 1st. It really wasn't painful at all. The worst part was having to sit for four hours after in recovery, by myself, so the nurses could make sure I wasn't having any bleeding. I read half of my great book and I think it was the longest I ever had to sit. I am so used to being busy it drove me crazy. Geez, you think I would enjoy some down time! I was a little sore the next day, but other than that I have been fine.

I have been wanting to write about the kids in school for some time. The first day of preschool for the kids went great. Ever since they have had no problems and love everything about it. It was so strange packing up their backpacks the night before thinking that my three babies were heading off to school! They were so cute in their backpacks in the morning all excited about the day. The drop-off went well, until it was time for us to go. GT started crying and saying “don’t leave me”. That was hard. We made a quick getaway and apparently he stopped. GE and LC were fine working hard eating their Fruit Loops! It was nice to have D there with me. They have done so much artwork and fun things. Every day they come home singing new songs or telling me about books and new stuff they have learned. I am so at ease with my decision.

My sister was visiting for two weeks and it was marvelous. She didn't let me do a thing. She bathed the kids and fed them all their meals. Kept them busy and let me rest. She watched the kids so Derek and I could go out to dinner with some friends and Let us go away over night in San Diego! We made two trips to the beach and visited Sea World. The kids had so much fun with their aunt. What a great sister. We were all sad to see her leave.

D was assigned to the helicopter squadron we were hoping for and won't be deploying for at least a year. When he does deploy it won't be to Iraq. Thank God!

The only drawback about school is the kids have been sick a lot! Colds mainly, but GE did have the flu over the weekend. They are finally old enough to know they have to throw up in the toilet or in a garbage can. My neat, little, clean daughter was so good about puking her guts out in the potty and garbage. Thank goodness because I feel sick anytime anyone is getting sick. I hung in there all night as the poor thing threw up every hour all night. It was the saddest thing her tired little body dry heaving after some time. Saying "mommy please make it stop". Heart wrenching. By the next morning she was better and keeping my fingers crossed that no one else gets it. The boys, D and me all have horrid colds though. I am hoping it doesn't turn into a lung infection again. Staying on top of it though.

Tomorrow I have an appt with my nephrologist. This is when I find out how much the Lupus has affected my kidneys. Results from my biopsy are finally going to be revealed. I have been pretending that I am fine. Putting it out of my mind. I am just going to go in with a positive outlook and hope for the best.

I took the kids to the doctor today for their 3 year checkup. A bit past due, I know. I have had a lot going on. The kids were great and so well behaved. I love their doctor. This was the first time we have been to her as we just switched to a civilian provider. I had lots of questions and she answered all of them. GT came out in the 50th % for both height and weight. GE was in the 30th % for weight and 50% for height. LC was in the 10th% for height and weight. My little 2.4lb baby is still lagging behind. Although the doctor didn't seem too concerned about it. What I was concerned about was LC is quite a bit knock-kneed and has always had a slight heart murmur. The Navy doctors always told me he would outgrow it. At least this doctor gave me a referral to get x-rays of his legs and for a chest x-ray to check it all out.

I think that is all the updates I have in me.

So much

2006-08-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

Been enjoying my life too much to update I guess. Trying to forget about everything going on and pretend I am a normal girl.

On August 16th I had an appt with my Rheumatologist. Just my routine check up with him. I had my blood taken on the 1st and did a 24 hour urine test and it turns out I had too much protein in my urine. My doctor is concerned enough that he referred me to a Nephrologist and told me I am going to have to have a kidney biopsy done. Apparently my kidneys are only functioning at 77% and for my age should be at 100%. So the Lupus is now affecting my kidneys and they have to determine what stage I am in.

I guess (from what I had researched and have been told) there are four stages of kidney disease. The biopsy will let them know where I fall on that chart. Stages 1 and 2 aren't that bad, but 3 and 4 are and would need some serious drugs to help me recover. My doctors are being very proactive and believe they are catching this early. I have added another drug to my daily pill intake called Cellcept which is usually used for people that get kidney transplants and bone marrow to help their body not reject the new organ or marrow. Another immuno-suppresive drug. I don't think I have any immune system left with all these drugs! I was told if I am in Stage 3 or 4 that I will have to go on IV chemo plus my Cellcept for up to two years. It would be a lower dosage than cancer patients get, but it still makes you feel pretty horrible. It would be once a month for 8 months and then spread out a little more after that. I can't imagine. Trying not to think about that.

I was told I can lower my Prednisone to 20mg from the 30 I was at. I asked my doctor about all these weird things I have going on and he said it was all from the Prednisone. Stuff like being dizzy and light headed always, random swollen fingers and joints, shaky hands and legs and horrible acne which I have never had. The joys of drugs! I will go back to see him in a month and he gave me a referral to the Nephrologist. I broke down for the first time when I left my appt. It was all so overwhelming and I was there alone. I cried my eyeballs out in my car which then led to a massive bloody nose! Lovely.

With a surgery in my future I let D know what was happening. I didn't want him to worry, but he had to know. When he called from Iraq I spelled it all out for him. He was negative and I could tell upset since he was so far away and unable to be there for me. Which upset me and I asked him if he could just think positive. I was so sick of constantly being the upbeat one when I am the one that is sick. We hung up and I was mad and so was he. He sent me an email right away apologizing for upsetting me and stressing me out. Sometime after midnight he called me back and asked if he was home by the weekend would that make me feel better? Well, yeah! So he told me to call the Red Cross and pass a message through and he could be on a plane as soon as it was approved.

It was after midnight and I had no one to call or talk to. I was so excited, yet not. I have learned never to believe anything until it happens in the Marine Corps. I woke up early the next morning and called my doctor to let him know the Red Cross would be calling him. Then I called the Red Cross. First guy...not so helpful. He told me they wouldn't pass a message through to my husband's command unless I had my surgery scheduled. I told him I was just waiting for the approval through Tricare (my insurance). He told me that they would start a case on me, but it probably wouldn't get him home yet.

I immediately sent an email to D and told him what was going on. He called me and told me that his replacement was already with him and his command was just waiting for the Red Cross message. He told me to call my doctor and have him call the Red Cross. I did just that, but then the Red Cross called me! The most nice and understanding lady called and took care of everything. She said within 24 hours D should call me and let me know when he would be home.

Final outcome is D came home on Monday the 21st and we surprised the kids. I told them that I had left a bag at the airport. Then we all walked in to baggage and there was their daddy. They were startled, shocked and surprised. It was so cute.

My surgery is scheduled for Friday the 1st. A little scared. Trying to stay positive. Trying not to stress. My husband needs constant reminding that although I look fine from the outside, the inside of me is still all screwed up. He still needs to help out, keep the kids from stressing me etc., etc.

Whew...that wore me out just to write all that down. Another day I am going to write all about preschool and how it has been nothing but positve. My kids love school and I love having some time for me after three years of raising triplets. Right now having some focus on me is a good thing.

Happenings

2006-08-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

So much to say...I have been bad about updating. I have no time now either. I want to write about my Rheumatologist appt and breaking down after, sending a Red Cross message to D trying to get him home. An appt with my Nephrologist (a word I had never heard before), scheduling surgery for me and my kids starting preschool this week!

This weekend I will update about all of it. I am feeling better, but now my insides are screwed up. Trying to be positive and enjoy each day. I really enjoyed two full days of preschool. More then anyone can imagine!

On my own

2006-08-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

We have overcome the germs around here. I luckily never did get sick. Yeah me! My family visits have come to an end for now. First time I have been without help since the first week of June! My dad left this morning and boy was today a hard day. I am physically and mentally exhausted. Driving back and forth to the airport at 5am this morning and then entertaining the kids all day for the first time in months...no words to explain how I feel. At 5pm I collapsed on the couch and couldn't move. I had to just rest to gain some energy to feed myself. I kept asking the kids to make me dinner, but they claimed they were too little. Can you believe that? Cuties. I finally ate and got them in bed by 7:30. They were exhausted too. Went and soaked my tired body in the hot tub and here I am.

Tomorrow I have to take the kids for their TB tests so they can start school on the 23rd. I hope it is easy and painless. Since doctor outings times three is never easy, plus we are going to a new doctor here by our house. I switched them from the Navy hospital to a civilian doctor because frankly I am fed up with military doctors. I want to head to Costco after the doctor with our other triplet friends to look at their Halloween costumes. My friend told me they have great Disney costumes for girls. GE desperately wants to be Cinderella. GT wants to be Prince Charming and LC...well we haven't decided yet. We will see how I hold up!

Wednesday I have a doctor appt with my rheumatologist. Hoping to find out what the hell is going on with my kidneys. I am wondering if I will get to decrease my Prednisone again. I am currently taking 30mg, but I would like to drop down to 20mg. Although everytime I decrease the dosage I have about a two week adjustment period. A little nervous about that since I don't have any backup here to help me.

D gets to call me daily. I love hearing from him, but can tell he is finding it hard not to be here. He still hasn't heard anything about his early departure from hell. It would make me feel so much better if we had a return date. At least we get talk and update each other daily. Something we have never had during a deployment before. I miss him so much, yet can't allow myself to really think about it because I miss him so much it hurts. Especially now that I am alone and still so weak and trying to figure out how to live with this disease.

Resting, Germies and School

2006-08-07T00:07:00.000-07:00

I have been a hermit. Trying to get better and gain strength and just get through each day. No friends, no outings hardly, and no sunshine. I am so sick of laying around and just resting. I get so bored. My dad is here now. He has been great with the kids. He gets them up and takes them to the park from about 9am until 1pm!!! I wish I could enjoy the silence and alone time more. Mostly I sleep until 9am - 10am (because this prednisone makes me an insomniac) then I roll out of bed slowly and try to get my muscles and joints moving. Have breakfast and take a shower. Then I rest until the kids get back. Sad. I wish I could be more productive. My body just doesn't allow it.

One day, I did take the kids to a inside gym place and GE got a cold. A bad one. Now the boys have it and today was a truely miserable day. Screaming and crying and sick kids. I keep trying to duck and hide when they sneeze or cough. They wash their hands A LOT for three year olds and we have a bottle of Purell out for them to use too. Still I feel that dry scratchy throat and clogged head feeling coming over me. This no immune system sucks. I am so frustrated. I just got over a horrible infection. What to do though?

To add more germies to our life...I found a preschool different from the one I originally picked. This one is on the corner and really nice. The other one was 20 minutes away. I am going to send them two days a week for full days. Going to also go broke doing this for three kids! I am going to take them for a visit this week and then they will start the week of the 20th. I have mixed emotions about this. I desperately need the time for myself to rest and relax, but I am torn about sending them to school so early. They are 3 1/2, but I feel like I should be teaching them myself. I guess it is something every parent feels guilty about. It is such a hard thing to get over though. The thought of sending them gives me this sick feeling inside of me that hurts. Does that make sense? I am just really, never away from them. NEVER. So this separation is going to be a challenge for all of us. I say I won't be upset because I need this, yet inside I know I will...especially when they cry. I know at least one of them will. I hope it works out for all of us. Just something to get used to.

D is so depressed. I can tell in his voice when I talk to him. He is worried about me. He just wants to be here. Still no word on if he gets to come home early. I had a call from my doctor yesterday that my blood test from the 1st came back and I have protein in my urine. Not a good thing. It means my kidney's aren't functioning correctly. So I have to go for another urine test on Wed and also do a 24 hour urine test. Lovely. Hoping it comes back normal. I don't need more problems. My doctor said not to worry and if it is something bad we have caught it early and he can adjust my treatment. The thing with this disease is that there is no special pill or way to treat. Everything is trial and error and you have to just find what works for you. I hate that.

I need to get back into updating about the kids. They say the funniest things and do the funniest things. I really want to remember. I told them they will be going to school. They are excited. They think they get to ride a school bus and wear their backpacks. I have to keep telling them that mommy will be driving them to school. (God help me get them out the door by 7:45!) I told them they get to bring their favorite blankets for nap/quiet time at school. GE wanted to know if they would get to bring their pillows. I said no, not the pillows. She said maybe our new teacher will have some pillows for us, maybe she will have some barbies too? I had to say maybe because she was so hoping they would have barbies at school. See, sometimes I could just gobble them up. Yes, I know there are other times I want to throw them out the window!

Happiness

2006-07-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

I feel good today! A breakthrough? Nothing aches and I woke up at 7:30am wide awake. I am still swollen but nothing too bad. Could my flare (every time I say that, I think of the movie Office Space, where Jennifer Aniston had to wear so much "flare" on her uniform at work) finally be ending? Still so tired, but I can deal with that.

The kids are loving having nana and papa here. They have even been telling me to go away. These are the kids that would cry when I left the room a month ago. They are growing so much day by day. It is amazing the things that come out of their mouths. Sometimes they say the funniest things. I swear they have grown in size as well. GT has gotten so tall. GE and LC are following right behind. I have been laying out their outfits the night before on their beds to help my mom out. Now they get up and go to the bathroom and get dressed themselves. Sometimes they need help, but for the most part they do it themselves. So very helpful. I have had them start making their beds too in the morning. Most times they remember to pull up the covers and fix their pillows.

Their manners have really been great. They use their please and thank you's and are learning your welcome. Lately they ask if they can be excused from the table when they are done eating. I guess when I step back and I am not hurting so bad, not so angry because I didn't know what the hell was going on with me...my kids are pretty darn cute. I miss them when they are at the park in the morning. I miss their little hugs they give me or the rub on my arm to make me feel better, their cute little smiles they flash at me when they wrinkle their nose up.

It is so nice to feel better inside and out.

Doctors and drugs...oh and some sleep thrown in!

2006-07-17T17:04:00.000-07:00

I went to my rheumatologist on Wednesday. I had already cut my Prednisone to 40 mg and he cut it to 30 mg and I only take it in the morning. I was going out of my mind not sleeping, a side effect of the meds. After a month of insomnia due to pain and meds I was being to hallucinate. I finally have slept the past three nights from 1am until 8am or until the kids are so loud they wake me. So nice to sleep again. Funny what you take for granted. Although I feel like I could sleep for days and days. Is this from the Prednisone, the Lupus or from my Effexor I increased? Who knows. I really want to get this Prednisone dose to as low as possible. This steroid use has such an ick feeling.

My dr said I was still swollen which I knew. I still have a generalized stiffness that happens when I wake up in the morning and gradually improves as the day goes on, but later in the day my joint pain and fatigue return. So much so I have to lay down around 5pm. I have had this puffiness in my hands since I cut my prednisone that is annoying, but I can live with it.

He had some of my bloodwork back. My white blood cell count was really high, but could have been due to the bacteria infection I had in my lungs or from the steroids. I also had a small amount of blood and protein in my urine which he will watch closely. He didn't think it was troublesome. Have to watch that since that has to do with your kidneys. I will get re-checked with bloodwork the beginning of August and then have an appt with him a week later.

My Sjorgen's Syndrome has been bad lately. Dry eyes, mouth, canker sores, plus I developed oral thrush in my mouth. Nice chalky feeling that I could have done without. Having a dry mouth sucks and I am constantly brushing my teeth to get that oh so fresh feeling. I am taking some more meds for the thrush. These horrible little tablets that have to dissolve in my mouth. I have been eating really well. Prednisone makes me feel like I am constantly hungry. I am drinking my Ensure and eating my protein bars. Still haven't gained any weight though. I have been stuck at 110lbs for a while. I looked up weight loss and lupus and found something that said it is almost like anorexia for your body. Most times you get past it because of the other meds that make you gain weight. Although I have never gained weight easily. I asked the doctor about working out to gain some muscle and he said to absolutely do that when I feel good. Moderately. D is going to write me up some routine so I can start with some light weights. I need to do that because all my muscle tone is gone and my bones sticking out are disgusting.

The weather here has been horrid. I like hot, but this is ridiculous. It was 109 yesterday and about 106 today...we set records. I can't take it because it just exhausts me and with my hot flashes already I am constantly sweating. I hate sweating. I have broke out with acne which I have never really had a problem with because I am so sweaty. It is supposed to be over 100 until next weekend. I wish we had a pool I could just submerse my hot sweaty body in.

My mom has been great help taking care of the kids since I rarely surface before noon (although today I was up earlier). I hope to continue to get up earlier. She takes them to the park early and lets them swim and keeps them busy until I can help out in the afternoon. I can tell you she is tired of doing everything. I get tired and the is in her 60's. She has been her two weeks already and has another to go. Then my Dad will be here for another three weeks to help out.

Since each day is different for me I still need help. I never know how I am going to feel from one day to the next.

Day by day

2006-07-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

The kids have changed so much over the past month that D was home. They talk non-stop in paragraphs and are tattle tails like crazy. With three of them no one gets away with anything. They are such busy bodies and have become quite independent. Learning that mommy needs her down time and they have to play on their own a lot. They play in the playroom or outside by themselves and know that they have to be good. If not, someone never fails to tell me who is being bad. They have finally mastered the potty and are dry at night...they just go on their own. Marvelous. Good thing I potty trained when I did because tackling that task now would be impossible for me now.

Had a bit of a setback this week. It was already emotionally draining to have D leave to go back to Iraq. He is safe and sound (is that possible?) back in Iraq. He has called me daily and we are able to talk for a bit. The kids are miserable again and really miss their daddy. GT is having a really difficult time acting out for positive or negative attention. Trying to let them work it out and giving them lots of hugs and kisses. It is hard not to yell when I still feel so crappy.

Since Tuesday I have felt really crappy. My head was all clogged, fever, dry scratchy throat and a cough that started on top of my regular shittyness. GE had a mild cold this week and it just happened to ruin me. Since I have no immune system anymore it turned into something drastic. I haven't been able to sleep because my cough has been so bad. I went to urgent care on Friday and they put me on 500mg Cipro, a steroid inhaler for swelling of my lungs and an inhaler to help me breathe (asthma inhaler). Lovely. I am so beyond exhausted because in the past month I have only slept two nights for about 7 hours.

I cut my Prednisone to 50mg from 60mg on July 4th. I was doing okay on that dose so I cut it again today to 40mg. A little achy in my joints and muscles by the end of the day. The hot tub seems to be helping me with that. I am popping so many pills it is unbelievable. I hate pill taking and now I take so many.

D's plan is to inform his command that I got a simple cold which turned into a horrible infection within days. He wants to finish his seven months so his deployment counts and hopefully can get back here in September. Of course, that is all up in the air.

My Mom is here until the end of July and then my Dad is coming back out until mid-August. So glad I have great parents that come to help out when I need them.

Coming back

2006-06-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

Damn all those doctors I had seen before that just kept telling me I was just stressed. I had triplets. My husband was in Iraq a lot. I just knew something wasn't right. It was my body and I wasn't myself. I am so glad I went to doctor after doctor because I could have died. Now I am certain that all my problems in the past with pancreatitis in 97, gall bladder and appendix removal in 04 and infertility and endometriosis all stemmed from Lupus. Especially now that I have researched Lupus.

I am so relieved to finally have an answer to all my pain and weird symptoms. Lupus screws up my immune system and makes my body think I have all sorts of problems it needs to attack. So I feel like I have the flu, arthritis (so severe with that trip to the ER because my joints and muscles froze), swelling, fever, rashes, extreme fatigue, hairloss and on and on!

I am on a high dose of steroids now after seeing my rheumatologist last Thursday and some anti-malarial pills to help calm my immune system down. Although these drugs make me really susceptible to infection because they suppress both normal and abnormal immune function. Really hoping this works because there is no cure or magic pill. Each case is different. I will see my doctor every three weeks to monitor my symptoms and to work with my meds and dosages.

Feeling a bit better on the meds. Still so very tired daily. I wake up feeling pretty good, eat breakfast, shower and then I am exhausted. That is very frustrating for me. I like to get up and get going, get things done and I can't. A new way of life I guess. I have all these thoughts in my head of what I want to accomplish yet no energy to do them. Baby steps. Two days ago I had a big day. We ordered our hot tub (which I need now for medical reasons), I had an eye exam at Wal-Mart, went to Target and then got my haircut. Yikes. I was ruined that night. All of that didn't take very long, but for my body it was too much. I swelled up and shut down by 8pm. Didn't sleep all night because my throat muscles were so swollen I couldn't swallow. My muscles and joints were all inflamed and I couldn't move again.

Got out yesterday for a short trip to Home Depot and picked up my meds at Wal-Mart. That was plenty for me.

I hired a cleaning company yesterday to clean twice a month. They are here now! I am so excited because dirt makes me cranky and especially when I want to clean it and can't. Things like this I am just going to have to let other people do and be fine with it.

Our hot tub is being delivered on Saturday and the electrician will hook it all up that day too. By Saturday night I should be able to hop in and relax. Looking forward to the muscle/joint soothing effects of that. D bought a pull down shade thing to hang at the end of the deck that I can roll down in the afternoon sun. Sun exposure apparently can cause me to flare up along with stress and exhaustion. Funny since I have three year old triplets and a husband in Iraq. Is that stressful and exhausting enough?

D has been awesome aside from the first week when he was so scared and didn't know what to do. Once he got into the swing of things he hasn't let me do a thing. He prepares all the meals for me and the kids, grocery shops and keeps the kids away when I need him too. Does all baths, clean up and laundry. I have never had this ever. Definitely making me feel better. I am going to miss him so much when he leaves on the 6th. He has to go back though. We are stuck. They will let him stay and he can just join the squadron he used to be with, but that screws up everything. His deployment thus far would account for nothing. He would deploy with the squadron in October to Iraq and not return until May. From now until October would be workups in the desert for three weeks at a time and long hours flying. In my opinion, not worth it. If he stays on his current track he changes jobs in Iraq and fills a LT Col billet. He will return in February. He is looking into getting another R&R since this two week R&R turned out to be basically emergency leave. We will see.

My Mom is coming out for three weeks before D departs. I simply still can't be alone. I started my second drug along with Prednisone called Plaquenil. That is the anti-malarial drug. It takes about three to six weeks to start working fully. Hoping to wean down the 60mg of Predisone soon before I get too many side effects. I always feel like I am swaying on a boat. No clarity, cloudy. So tired and blah. I hate it. The plaquenil has ick side effects too until your body gets used to it. Like dizziness, nauseousness etc. You should see my drug intake daily. I am like a really old person popping pills left and right.

I plan to enroll the kids in preschool three days a week in the fall so I can have some time to rest. Low stress and sleep is what makes me feel better. Hard to get with my triplets and a husband in Iraq.

The kids have changed so much since D has been home. They talk in full sentences, paragraphs and question everything. Why momma? That is all I hear. GE has really become a daddy's girl. So cute. The talking back is what I could really do without. GT has comments or says but or well everytime I tell him to do something. The kids are going to have a huge adjustment after D leaves again. They are so attached to him. He is a marvelous daddy though and I really am proud of him for stepping into my shoes and completely taking over. No complaining or anything. Just does what has to be done. Love him!

Crash and burn

2006-06-19T22:12:00.000-07:00

This has to be short because every muscle and joint in my body is aching. I have gotten to the point where I can't function. I can't walk or even close my hands. Lupus sucks. Hopefully they can manage it now that they know what is really happening to me. I think I finally crashed because I could with D home. The moment he got home I just had everything that happens with this disease happen...just about.

D came home on the 6th of June and was supposed to leave on Thursday. He got emergency leave approved today and is able to stay to help me and the kids. Especially since I can't take care of myself let alone three toddlers. I went to the ER on base on Saturday because my HMO sucks and isn't helping me get into a rheumatologist quick enough. Luckily I was put on a steriod and it helped the first night, but they are playing around with the dose still. I can't get in with any doctor until next Monday. I haven't slept in two weeks. Last night I didn't sleep a wink. So very wearing since exhaustion and stress make this disease flare up worse.

The kids are finally getting used to D. They were very angry towards him at first. Especially since I was so sick. They wanted me yet I couldn't do anything. Everything is upside down here.

I will try and update when I can. I have really bad days and then not so bad days. Still awaiting a good day!

One hell of an update

2006-06-03T15:22:00.000-07:00

I have had a hell of a couple weeks. With so much going on...I am physically and mentally exhausted.

My kids are all potty trained...finally. Still have accidents once in a while, but for the most part we are on the right path.

My dad came and went and that was the greatest. My dad is super helpful and the kids loved him. I am so exhausted so I will write more about his visit later.

D is coming home this week for his two week visit. The only leave he gets for his year deployment. Couldn't have come at a better time.

Friday, I was diagnosed with Lupus. I was so happy to have a diagnosis I about jumped up and down. Finally, someone was telling me I wasn't crazy. Something is wrong with me. It isn't just stress and having triplets with a husband in Iraq, I am sick. I have been having extreme flare-ups with that and find it hard to manage to do anything. It is like having extreme arthritis in the AM. I can't even open and close my hands. Every joint and muscle aches. Actually, hurts. It is like I am 94 not 34. I have been waking up at 6am because of the pain. I take a motrin and go back to bed or stretch until my kids get up. Then I am okay during the day and at night it gets worse again. Also extreme fatigue.

Monday I am going for more bloodwork. A Lupus panel, Liver function and urine sample to see if I am giving out too much protein. That way I can found out what type of Lupus it is and how they can treat it. It isn't something that can be cured with a wonder drug, but managed with meds.

I haven't told D yet. He knew I was being tested for auto immune diseases along with an iron and another thyroid test. He was freaking over that. I will tell him face to face when he comes home.

Lots to take in for me. On top of that my computer died. I still have my laptop, but really can I ever get a break?

This diagnosis explains so much to me. Hairloss, fatigue, aches, pains, flu like symptoms and just my crappy feeling every day, day in and day out.

I will write more when I can. Finding it hard to manage my day to day let alone update here. As much as I want to document about the kids, I find it hard to find the energy or time right now. I am keeping track of what they say and do in my planner and plan to give some long update soon.

I appreciate everyones thoughts and comments here. I really do.

More stress gone in more ways then one.

2006-05-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

What a week. Every time I blink another week goes by. Hard to believe it is already May.

I eliminated another source of stress in my life this week. I told my babysitter that I wouldn't be needing her anymore. She has been coming on Fridays to help out and keep the kids busy while I either got stuff done around the house, had a doctors appt or went grocery shopping. The problem is she is so immature and just was becoming less and less responsible. I could tell she wasn't into being with my kids anymore. This is a girl I have had babysit for me for the past three years. Ever since I had my kids she has helped me. Since I moved back though she has changed. She has her first boyfriend and is failing out of school. Too much going on. She wasn't giving the kids the attention, discipline or stimulation they need. I have been torn about this for a long time. Mostly because she was it for me. The only one I have ever left my kids with on a regular basis for their entire lives except for family. I just worried about them when I had to leave or caught her doing stuff that annoyed me. Like burning stuff in my good, expensive Calphalon pots, letting the kids watch too much TV, searching the Internet when my kids don't nap anymore...oh my the list goes on and on. Not the type of stress relief I was looking for.

I told her on Friday I wasn't going to need her help anymore. She acted like I told her it was cloudy out. Didn't say a thing other then okay. Obviously she was fine with it. Weird since I thought she was going to be upset about not seeing the kids regularly. My God, when we moved to VA she called almost every week and even came to visit. Having her first boyfriend though at almost 23 she acts like she is 15. Just really immature and when my kids are telling her the rules like "we have to clean up before we can go outside" or "take your shoes off when you come inside" then something is wrong.

I feel relieved even though now the kids have to come every where with me. Somehow it just feels right. We went on lots of outings this week. Home Depot, the grocery store, Target and Wal-Mart and the kids were great. Listening, walking, and behaving all around.

I have been looking at preschools and on Friday I found one I really like. Finally. Not filthy, but really clean and brand new. The director was so nice and really explained everything and had a lot of interesting things to tell me.

It is Christian based so they pray and do bible study, which is fine. Very structured. It would be half days three days a week. Either 8:30 to 11:30 or 12:30 to 3:30. 10% discount for the second and third child. Much cheaper then the other ones. I told them my husband was in Iraq and I was planning a trip to MI for three weeks sometime this summer. They said for me they wouldn't charge me if I was gone. Most only allow you two weeks vacation after enrolling and attending for several months and you have to pay for your time still. This place has a summer program which would start mid-June to the first week of August and be M, W and TH. Then their regular fall classes start Aug 7th and they would be M, W, F.

This is their daily schedule

8:30-8:45 Fellowship Time, Library, Puzzles, Greeting time
8:45-9:30 Group Time, Prayer, Pledge of Allegiance, Choose Helpers for the day, Calendar time, Morning song, Table time
9:30-10:00 Outside Play
10:00-10:20 Learning Centers (They have a science center, art center, music center etc)
10:30-10:45 Clean up, Toileting, prayer, snack time
10:45-11:30 Music Time, Large Motor skill, bible lesson, story time/friday show and tell.
dismissal

They also bring in muscians, artists, pupateers and religious guests. All religion based stuff is strictly Christian and not specific to any one religion. That is good for me since we aren't extremely religious around here, yet still believe in being Christian. If that makes sense.

I am very interested in this one. I liked it the best. Yes, it is a bit farther then some others, but I think worth it. I think they would really get a lot out of it. I am strongly considering enrolling them in the summer program to see how it goes.

Right now, my Dad is coming out for a visit on Thursday for a good chunk of time and then D should be home for a visit in June. That should take me through to when they would go to this school.

Feeling optimistic and good now that I have some options.

For me, it is for me

2006-04-29T21:39:00.000-07:00

I never really started this site for my kids. I started it for me. To release all my thoughts, memories, feelings and stress. Of course, I don't hate my kids. Yes, I hated her last night, at that moment when she was going crazy. When nothing was working and I was at a loss. This parenting triplets with no backup is the hardest thing I have ever done or thought I would do. I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

I wrote D last night an email basically saying the same thing to him. He understands in his own way as much as he can. He called me immediately after receiving my email. God, I love him. He just reassured me it was okay to feel this way. No one understands, but us and other parents of multiples. You just don't know unless you are in my shoes day in and day out.

I get tired, stressed, mad, sad yet happy daily. I am human. I am real and I won't censor how I feel. I would think my kids and family would love me more for that instead of holding it all in and exploding one day. I always feel better when I write down all my feelings and get them out.

Today was a better day. No meltdowns all day while we were out. Really good kids. We went to the birthday party and the kids were so great. They had a bounce house and they jumped and jumped. Saw some friends I rarely see anymore who I have known for at least 10 years. They are my husbands friends from work and they paid so much attention to my kids and it really touched me. My kids were the best eaters there and the most well-behaved out of all the three year olds. I told them I was so proud of them. All of them used the potty all day and pooped too. Tired kids meant meltdowns tonight, but I was calm and didn't reason with them and everyone went to bed happy.

I am a good mom.

By the way, if you don't like what I have to say...goodbye. Click on and go away.

I suck

2006-04-28T20:19:00.000-07:00

I hate my daughter. HATE. It is true. I suck. Mommies are supposed to have patience and be understanding and figure out what works for discipline. I don't. I can't. I am spent. She is just an obnoxious little brat lately. Who screams and yells. The naughty room, soap in her teeth to get rid of the nastiness, taking away her animals, her socks (which she really values for some reason)...nothing works. She is the devil. My babysitter said she screamed from lunchtime on. She was screaming again (just like last Friday when I went out) from 5:30 until now which it is 8pm. Nothing has worked. She passed out on the couch from screaming (the boys were already in bed) and when I woke her up to take her upstairs she started again. FUCK!!! All the meds in the fucking world wouldn't help me right now. I fucking want to run away to a deserted island, alone. I was gone all day and everytime I get home from one day away she is like this. NUTSO. Not only when I go away, but when I am here. I am so tired of it.

GT pooped and peed in his underwear with the babysitter. WTF????????????????????? Fuck my life. I wanted these kids so bad and they just are so mean. Talking back and doing stupid things and fighting and doing everything I tell them not to. You have no idea. Picture the worst Supernanny kids and that is her. Kicking the doors and banging her head on the door and scraped her foot because she was kicking them so hard. I mean really out of control. I am at a loss of what to do.

I went to another preschool today to check it out and didn't really like it. It is a better curriculum then others, but dirty and dirty kids that were filth. All the toilets in the kids bathroom weren't flushed and toilet paper all over. ICK. I told her I am a clean freak and I was concerned about the cleanliness. She said they have a custodian to clean while the kids are eating lunch and after the school day. Really though, it looked like it hadn't been cleaned ever. It was depressing on the playground and smelled stale inside. The lady giving me the tour was coughing and hacking on me and didn't really speak English real well. So I could barely understand her. She had nothing to give me, like a packet of info. I saw a booklet on the bookshelf and I had to ask her if I could have one. Why? They didn't even have a pricing sheet. They were rated the best, but how can that be? If I don't get them in preschool I might go insane. I need two days a week. They need a break from me and I need one desperately. Even if we use all our savings to send them I would rather have my sanity.

I went to the psych doc today that my family practice referred me to. My family practice doctor couldn't figure out my meds anymore. So this new dr is getting me off of one SSRI and switched me to this other SSRI. Supposed to not make me as tired. I am supposed to take it in the am not in the pm. No one told me that before. He gave me different sleep meds because the other one I had been taking is probably making me sleepy during the day. To high a dose. Gave me meds for anxiety...like tonight when I was about to spin out of control. It is my kids that have driven me to craziness, not D in Iraq. I mean if he were here it would be better, but probably not different. He just doesn't get it. Sometimes they fly off the handle and can't be stopped. About nothing.

I went and got a pedicure and manicure and eyebrows waxed and all that relaxation ruined in one second when I walk in the door. Fuck...and I have to take them to a birthday party tomorrow. My babysitter looked like she was going to run the fuck out of here. All she says is "I don't know how you do it". Great.

GE told me she wanted to go away from me tonight. Run away. She said she hated me. It made me cry. She is at the top of the stairs waiting for me. I am hiding in my office.

Pathetic.

Happy Birthday to me!!!

2006-04-19T21:23:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh, has it been a long time. The weather got nice and we just have been outside as much as possible. Either here or with our other triplet friends swimming in their pool. Our kids just get along so great and it is an easy day for me and my friend T when they play together. I love easy days.

Today is my birthday. Lovely day. Even with the horrid cramps I had. We went swimming in T's pool with her triplets and then all went out to dinner. They were so nice and picked up the bill. It is really great to have good friends while D is gone. It makes all the difference in my life.

I have had one heck of a stressful year. I can't even believe it. Maybe that is why my body is falling apart at 34. Unbelievable that I am 34...I mean 29! The thirties used to seem so old. Now I am in my mid-thirties. Eek.

I have been struggling with my medical issues. I swear something is wrong with me, but no one can find anything other then stress. The doctor finally did a biopsy of my head where I am losing hair. Ummmm yeah. (After my third trip back!) Punched out a piece of my head to send off to be tested. Can you say horrible headache? Those results should be back by this Friday. I am going to a dermatologist to see if they can figure it out too. I couldn't get in there until June 20th! What?? I will be bald by then. My insurance approved any doctor now after I complained and I have to call to see if I can get in sooner. I am also going to another doctor to figure out whether I am on the right SSRI and dosage. I am still have horrible panic attacks/anxiety and need that straightened out. Geez, enough already!

My dad booked a trip out to visit for 12 days in May. I am excited. He always helps so much when he visits and he loves the kids and they love him. Then D is planning a two week trip home in June! It will have good things and bad things about it. Good to see him and for him to reunite with the kids. Bad to have him leave AGAIN. The kids just aren't going to understand. Oh well, day by day.

The kids are just talkaholics. They talk and question things nonstop. It is cute and annoying all in one. GT is trying the potty training along with me. I have had so many medical things going on I haven't been really into it. By the third one potty training, I am tired.

Here is a funny pic of my boys from our swim day. They were just enjoying their juice and had not a worry in the world. Gosh, that would be nice! GT was good pretty good about going in the potty all day while we were outside. We didn't have to worry about Pull ups, underware or diapers. That helped I think.

My friend watched my kids last Saturday while another friend took me to the spa the whole day! A whole day for me, paid for! A skin awakening facial, lovely hour long massage and spa pedicure. How great is that? All at the famous La Costa Spa in Carlsbad. Of course, while I was getting massaged and pampered I had to repeat in my head "stop thinking about the kids and concentrate on the relaxation"!!! My friend was THE best babysitter. She colored Easter eggs with them, took them to the park, had them glue cotton balls on a piece of paper in the shape of a bunny, played with the play doh and they watched a movie. Wow! That is more then I do in a week. What a special day for ME for a change. I needed it too. She bought them these funny glasses. They were all wearing them when I came home.

We had a nice Easter over at T's house and her triplets. We got there TWO hours late, but it was just us. T made our pot roasts from Dream Dinners. We combined out two dinners. It was delish and the kids ate it up. Her husband, S hid eggs for the big egg hunt. The kids had a blast running all around. It was really fun. So sad D had to miss it all. We had opened our baskets here in the morning and had a little egg hunt in our house. What a day though. I was so tired when we got home.

The Rules

2006-04-08T22:37:00.000-07:00

I had a long discussion with my three tonight. Did anyone listen??? After another exhausting day we came up with some rules from this point on.

1. No meltdowns accepted
2. No screaming...especially at mommy
3. No running in the house
4. Take turns...share
5. No fighting. If you see someone fighting tell them to stop
6. When mommy says clean up...clean up your toys
7. Go pee and poop on the potty not in your pants especially when you have been potty trained for months
8. Timeouts mean you sit and be quiet
9. Don't bug the dog. Yes, he loves you too
10. Stay in bed when mommy puts you to sleep. You just peed before getting into bed!!!

Yeah right! Every one of those rules were broken today. The worst was my potty trained daughter of two months peed in her pants twice today. WHY? The minute she did it she said she was sorry and said "I pomise I won't doooo it again. I will be a big girrrl". Ugh.

The fighting, and the nightly getting out of bed after we go to bed drives me crazy. Everyone claims they have to use the potty, right after they already peed or pooped. You can't fool me, I am the mommy. Stop trying to con me.

Then they knew I was stressed out tonight. LC came over while I was helping GE get ready for bed and gave me a massage. Leaned over my shoulder and told me it would be alright. GE took a turn giving me a massage too and leaned over my shoulder and kissed my cheek. "I love you mommy!"

I am mentally and physically exhausted from these three, but I am really enjoying their affection. After a sucky day of being yelled and screamed at, peed on and taken advantage of it is nice to still feel loved.

blah, blah, blah

2006-04-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

We went to see the Easter bunny yesterday. The kids were so excited and have been talking about him for days. When we went to the mall on Sunday he hadn't arrived yet and they were so sad. I thought for sure they all would sit with him because they were so into talking about him. LC went up right away. GE got right by him and said "no way momma", then GT climbed back in the stroller. When I turned around to get out of the way for the picture, GT came over smiling and climbed right up. So, for the Easter bunny, it was just the boys. I was surprised by GE's reaction since she sat with Santa. Oh well. I got her picture in the stroller smiling about seeing the bunny.

We had lunch at our usual...Quizno's then did a little shopping with our triplet friends. It was raining sideways yesterday morning and very cool. A perfect day for the mall. I have never seen it so green here because of all our rain. The flowering plants should be beautiful soon, if it ever warms up!

My thumb is healing from the biopsy, but I still have red irritated bumps on my hands. Two of my friends had the same bumps. Weird. Maybe it was from fertility treatments? I finally was approved for the dermatoligist through my insurance, yet it takes a week to get me in the system at the derms office to make an appt. What is that about? Hair? Yep, still falling out and after my week I feel like I might go bald.

Tuesday was a horrible day. GE screamed at me all day. I took them all outside and I made her go back inside because she was such a nut. Finally, I took all her animals and babies and put them in a black garbage bag. Threw them outside in the garage. I told her she wouldn't get them back until she was a nice little girl. She was so pissed and running around the house screaming like a mad woman. The boys were napping during this. She needed to sleep so bad. We didn't go to bed until so late the night before because they are screwed up from the time change still. Then the lawn guys came at 7am and woke them that morning. She was just tired I think. After her nap she was better. I felt like I was having a heart attack I was so stressed out from her. Then my neighbor was peering at us from his deck. Annoying. He is so bored he just wants to chat and I can't hear a damn thing he is saying from far away. After our visitors and no napping the kids are exhausted. It takes us a week to get back on track.

Even so, we went out again today. I like the kids so much better when they are out of our house playing elsewhere. Not as much time to annoy me. We went over our friends house today to play. It ended up being a beautiful day finally. It was so cool this morning, but felt hot this afternoon and we all got some sun. It seemed like all our kids took turns having meltdowns. Such a hard age. Everything is traumatic.

All my kids are finally getting the consequences of being bad. If they are bad, I am going to take away something they like. So far the boys have things that they can't have and since I took away GE's animals and babies she has been pretty good. Yeah, it is working. Please let something work!

On a side note, I received two cards from D today. He never gets me cards usually. It was a nice treat. One was for Easter and the other one my birthday that is right after Easter. It was really sweet of him and God do I miss and love him!

Never-ending potty training and counting to 10...big kids

2006-04-03T20:51:00.000-07:00

I haven't updated in what seems like years. Funny how I go in spurts on here. I want to get on more often, but I am just not finding the time. I have to make myself to remember what is going on. The kids are so cute some days and I want to write it all down and not have it be a big blur years from now.

I bought the kids some new backpacks for our travels this summer (back to see my parents). They loved them and looked like such big kids. Could school be in our future? They are really talking in sentences now. Pulling out all this stuff that I am surprised they know. GE and LC are both fully potty trained (well, pull ups at night, but they are dry) ...GT and I still have to get our act together to get him trained. Although today he told me he had to pee and actually went on the big potty. He didn't even use the potty seat! He finally wanted to be like his brother. We were all so proud of him. He loved the attention.

We were very busy and had fun this past week with my friend and her children that were visiting. We are really worn out though from going, going, going since D left. The weather here has been terrible and I really look forward to warm days and sunny skies. I am so sick of winter. We did so much in the past week. We visited the zoo again, took them all to the beach in La Jolla and had a park outing. It was horrible weather, but the kids had fun.

D called us on Sunday and had been in Bahrain for several days. It was sort of stressful for me since I didn't know where he was and hadn't heard from him. (I was getting spoiled because he was calling once a week.) Apparently, his server is down and he can't email or receive any mail until they fix it. We have almost hit the two month marker. The kids have really been missing Daddy and even go to the door often and say "Daddy come home"! So sad. I try and reassure them that he is needed at work and will come home when he can. Their little minds just can't grasp that though. They blurt out "daddy loves me mommy" at least twice a day. We loved talking to him. Even though we were so sleepy because we had a late night the night before with friends and then forgot about the time change...as usual with us. The kids talked about the call from Daddy all day.

Still awaiting my trip to the dermatologist. The biopsy they took off my thumb came back being related to eczema which is possibly stress related. Weird, since I have never shown signs of that...eczema not stress!!! I hope it is an easy one to medicate since I am still losing my hair. Damn stress.

I need a vacation. I would even take a vacation to Bahrain if it meant relaxation and sunshine!

GT, out of the blue last night, counted to 10! All by himself while I was hanging up clothes. I was amazed. I told him I was so proud of him and he shouted "I know my numbers"! Cute. GE keeps saying "I have an idea". Like when I say "what should we have for lunch"? She says that. Funny, how they come up with things. There was a spider last night on top of the pony wall in our house. I said, "I don't want to kill him". GT ran and got some toilet paper and told me "I will kill him for you mommy, just like daddy. I am the daddy today". What? So cute it killed me.

Recovering...sort of

2006-03-26T21:13:00.000-08:00

Everyone has recovered around here. My kids are all feeling well and on the mend. My best friend is in town. She came in with her family today. Unfortunately, they had to book a hotel for the night because her son had the flu last night! She did it out of consideration for me. Can you imagine the flu times three with just me? I can't. She said everyone was feeling fine tonight. I am hoping no germs find their way to my house. We are planning another trip to the zoo this week. It is going to be hard with just me and the kids. My friend has two kids of her own to look after. Ahh!

I went to the doctor. My doctor said that I stumped him. He looked at my balding and these weird bumps I still have on my hands and had not a clue. He agreed to send me to a dermatologist. I just have to wait for it to get approved through my insurance. That could take a week or two. By then I should be good and bald. Every time I put my hands through my hair about 10 fall out. I just feel it isn't stress and something else is wrong. My hair just doesn't feel right. I even bought some Neutrogena shampoo that was like syrup. Disgusting, I almost puked in the shower. It smelled like gasoline. I think I would rather be bald then use that again! The doctor ended up doing a biopsy on my thumb, on one of the weird bumps I have. It hurt the worst to get the numbing shot. I actually jumped when he stuck the shot in and he had to do it again, but the second time a nurse had to hold my arm down. Nice. It still hurts almost a week later. The thumb is the worst spot to hurt for me. It is so hard to deal with my kids and a hurt thumb. I know I sound like a baby, but it hurts.

I told my doctor I am still stressed, obviously. He had me double my Paxil. I hope it helps. It seems it has already. Geez, I am falling apart at 33. So pathetic.

My kids miss their daddy so much. It is really sad. They talked about him all day. Daddy does this, daddy likes this, daddy loves me. My daughter even went to the back door and yelled outside for her daddy to come home. Breaks my heart. I didn't hear from D today like we usually do. I feel like the kids knew that.

I practiced numbers/counting and letters with them all day. Surprisingly, GT was the best. GE wouldn't even listen to me. She is so not into listening lately. She is opinonated and defiant. Her and LC. GT has been good. Totally opposite of usual. LC was so bad all day. He kept telling me no and I don't want to and totally doing things I told him not to. When we stay home all day the kids are very hard to put to bed. They have endless energy that seems to need to be burned off before they go to bed. They run like monkey kids in the hall and scream and yell. By that part of the night I have no energy and barely have the strength to mutter another no. Three years old keeps getting harder and harder.

More flippin issues

2006-03-20T21:32:00.000-08:00

Here is our story for today...GE wouldn't pee today because she said it hurt "so bad mommy". So I called the dr and got her in at 2:00 today. We went in and the nurse was so rude. GE freaked because the doctor had to look at her p*rivate*s. Kicking and screaming. Yelling at the doctor...I don't like you! Turns out she is just chaffed and red. No infection or anything. The dr just said to use diaper cream for two days and it should clear up and make her feel better. The u*rine was probably irritating her already sore p*rivate*s. Poor thing.

Since we were in there I had the dr look at GT's eye. She was so nice to do so because he didn't have an appt because they wouldn't squeeze him in with GE. Turns out he does have a clogged tear duct. Which I suspected, after doing research on the Internet. She said to just put a warm compress on it while he is watching tv and also gave me some erthromyicin (?) to make sure he doesn't get an infection. That medicine is like vaseline, so goopy. He was such a big boy and laid so still while I squirted it in his eye! Then I made him move his eyeball all around and I think he loved the personal attention. He didn't even touch his eyes. Big boy!

I asked this nurse, on the way out that was just sitting in the hall chatting to another nurse, to get the door for me and she just kept talking to another nurse and ignored me. Wouldn't move. Even after I cleared my throat. So I tried to maneuver around her and ran over her clog. Barely, and by mistake. She said really snotty...that is alright it is just my foot, I have another one. Fucker. I looked right at her and said...do you see I have triplets here and I am trying to get through a door with a stroller? These are three year old triplets and my husband is in Iraq, I don't need your crap. I said it so loud the whole waiting room heard. I said on the way out...that nurse should be fired. I didn't care. I was so pissed.

I go to the doctor about my baldness tomorrow at 3:oo. I hope I can figure this out. It makes me sad. It is getting worse. No one can tell yet, but me. I strategically part my hair. All my bloodwork came back normal though. Everyone says it is stress. Yeah maybe, because I am just a little stressed out. I want to be referred to a dermatologist. Just to make sure.

All night on the news they were talking about the war starting three years ago. Now D has been their three times. Tires me thinking about it. Apparently, this group is protesting the war by showing up at military funerals. Shouting horrible things. So now there is a flag brigade that has so many people holding American flags they block out the protestors so the mourning family can't see or hear them. Yeah! They had this one hick protestor on the news. The news guy asked him if the family asked them to leave would they? He said he would say to the mourning widow...and I quote "your partly to blame for them being dead woman"! I couldn't believe my ears. What? Once again for the night...FUCKER. The whole nightly news cast was all negative about the war. Made me mad. Couldn't there be anything positive said. Listen I don't like what is going on either. If I could have us out of there I would, but really.

Once again, I am exhausted from a day in my life.

I am not a hairdresser...

2006-03-16T22:35:00.000-08:00

I have so much to post about the last couple weeks. I am so behind. I have so little time to myself lately. Then when I do I am exhausted. Doesn't help that we are sick here with icky colds and swirling, clouded heads. Seriously, I am dizzy from this cold. What is that about?

The potty training is going so well, although I have more poop and pee in my life then I ever did with diapers. Why do my kids go pee so much? Maybe it is the new fascination with their privates and what happens with them. Why do they constantly pee out of the potty? How many times can a mommy clean up pee off of the floor? Can't wait to get my third guy trained. I am NOT starting yet though.

I mainly wanted to post about what I did today. To remember the day that I thought I was a hairdresser. Yes, I cut my daughter's hair for the first time in her life! Her hair was so long after three years of growing, it touched her bottom when it was wet! It was driving me crazy along with her. So with no back up here to tell me "no, don't do it...seek professional help"! I did it. I sat her on her picnic table with a sucker and told her to hold still. She did and I cut off six inches! It is still past her shoulders! So uneven at the bottom though. Oh well, I like it so much better and all I have to do is have someone (besides me) to even it out. I was dreading taking her to a hairdresser because she freaks with new people. She screams, kicks and yells NO at the top of her lungs lately. I just don't have the energy to deal with that.

So yes, I did it. One day she will say "mom, I can't believe you did that"! Like I did to my mother when I look back at pictures. Isn't that what we as kids do to our parents anyway? Make them feel guilty for a bad childhood! So here is the pic of the new haircut. Please tell me it doesn't look that bad!!!

I am alive!

2006-03-14T19:59:00.000-08:00

I haven't been killed off by my kids...yet! My sister and her husband were in town after my mom and oh my, did they keep us busy! We shopped in San Diego, went to the zoo, Disneyland and so much other stuff. I am exhausted. Like I am drugged. We now have horrible colds. Miserable. That is all for now because I need to take some Nyquil and go to bed.

Potty Central

2006-03-04T21:04:00.000-08:00

Welcome to potty central. Pull up a potty and have a seat. Everyone else is doing it! Trying to train two out of the three is A LOT of work. I could never have done three at once. Too much work. I think LC is getting it though. He finally peed on the toilet after naps on Thursday. He was so proud and he peed buckets full. We had a big party with jelly beans and had ice cream after dinner. Then after dinner he peed in his pullup. I was so pissed, but still encouraging. I took off his pullup though and made him walk around with nothing on. He got it. I put the potty in the family room and he sat down and pooped and peed! He pooped an arm. Amazing that that size poop comes out of such a small kid. Then he peed again before we took baths. In the bath tub, he had to pee and I had forgot to bring up the potty. Not like I have a lot going on or anything! I told him just to go in the tub. I thought it would be fun for him. He screamed "no mommy that is gross"! He was the last one to get out so I pulled him out, dried him off so I could run and get the potty. As he was standing there, with his towel on, he peed clear across the room all over the wall. Ugh. He said "oh no I peed on daddy's board". (D's new baseboard.) Funny! I cleaned it up and told him it was okay because at least he told me.

Later that night, GE hopped out of bed as I was eating dinner at 8pm. I thought she fell out, it was so loud. Turns out she had to poop and I rushed her in the bathroom. She pooped out a large man's size poop. What is with my kid's pooping these huge poops? She was so proud saying "I pooped out two mommy" because it broke in two. Oh, the things they say. She pooped so much it clogged the toilet and there wasn't even any toilet paper. So we waited and finally the toilet sucked the water down. Thank God! I am going to have to buy a plunger!

LC did good all day yesterday and today. No accidents! He is so proud of himself. He wore pullups to bed tonight. He was dry after nap time for two days straight! GT, still has no interest. Two down isn't bad, right?

The bad thing about boys is LC keeps peeing out the potty and all over the floor and my rug. It happened like five times today. So wearing. I keep telling him to point himself down, but he gets so excited he pops out and pee shoots everywhere. The last time he went, I made him hold himself down the entire time and he didn't make a mess. I just have to remember to remind him.

I know this is so much work for me, but having only one in diapers is SO much better! Yeah me!

After today, I might crack like an egg

2006-03-01T20:02:00.000-08:00

Today was one of the worst days ever. I hate my kids. If I could bite their heads off I would. I would chew up their defiant little heads. I would keep their cute bodies because then they couldn't talk to me. Yell at me. Scream at me. My throat hurts from screaming at them. I know it is wrong to scream at them. I can't help it when I have three maniacs here. They are such monsters since D left. All day long they say...NO...Don't want to...No way...Poo poo head...Poo head...or plain old poo poo. GT was a monster. He never listened all day long. Anything he could do to annoy me he did. GE is so mean. Mean to me and her brothers. LC just says NO all day. ALLLLL DAYYYYYY!

I tried the potty training thing with LC this morning. Put on the Thomas the Tank underware, rolled up my area rug and asked him consistently if he had to potty. The second after breakfast he peed in his pants. So we went over the procedure and I got him new underware and shorts. He peed in them again. Not enough to go through all the way so I made him wear them. Hoping he wouldn't like the wet feeling. Nope, about a half hour later he peed a small lake full all over the floor. He was upset, but hardly. He never said once he had to go and this last time happened five seconds after I had taken him off the potty and then asked him again if he had to go. He just isn't ready, but like a trooper I will try with him again tomorrow.

By this point I knew we needed to leave the house or I might go crazy, like out of my mind coo coo. So we packed up and went to base to buy our Disney Land tickets and zoo tickets. All were good walking into the ticket office. Everyone held hands and was very good at listening. I had to mail some bills so we went across the street to the exchange. I should have taken the stroller. Silly me thought everyone would listen again. GT wouldn't hold GE's hand. LC kept yelling "HAND", GE started screaming and jumping. Nightmare. I wanted to go and buy pull ups for LC after we mailed my bills so we walked down to the drug store. That was a mess. GT had to touch everything and would only have GE hold onto his thumb. She started screaming at him to hold her hand then he sat down. My blood is boiling just recapping this. They all made me so mad.

After we got home I let them run around the yard while I weeded and then they all screamed and jumped like I was killing them when it was time to come in. From then on it went further down hill. Everyone fought and screamed and yelled NO all night. I am so tired my body aches. I can't think. I can barely type. No one listens to me ever. If I say no they do it anyway. They they do this stupid shit behind my back like standing on the furniture or stacking up diaper packs to get to the top of the dresser. Yes, GT did that.

How will I survive another day. Yet, when I put them to bed they hug me so tight it hurts. They wrap their little arms around my neck and say...I love you mommy and I love daddy too. I be good tomooowww. How do you chew off someone's head when they say that?

Busy bees

2006-02-27T15:21:00.000-08:00

We have been so busy I am glad I have today to sit around and do nothing. Plus it is raining here and not so nice today. We have had visitor upon visitor which definitely gives us a good diversion. Two of our really good friends just moved in two neighborhoods down. It is nice to have them back out here in CA with us. We also have been either having dinner out or having our friends bring us food. Now we have so much food here it is ridiculous. It is nice people think I might starve since D is gone, but really. I have leftover Chinese, left over Mexican, pizza and salad along with cheesecake and cream puffs! Also my friend made us a lasagna and I had taken out two things from Dream Dinners! I am stuffed just thinking about it all.

Potty training is still ongoing. I dread training the boys. I was getting the boys in their diapers last night and GE told me she had to go pee. So I told her to pull herself up onto the big potty, go pee, wipe, flush and shut the seat. Guess what? She did it all by herself!!!!! Backed up to the toilet and scooted right on. I said I am so proud of you GE and she said I am so proud of you mommy! Cute. I should try and train LC this week. It is supposed to rain all week and since we will be stuck inside anyway...I might as well.
My poor kids are really missing their daddy. Out of the blue they say I love daddy or I miss daddy. Then GT will say...daddy is in Iraq, can I go to Iraq? They are also having issues with me leaving the room. I think they think I might leave them. They always want to know where I am or what I am doing. They have been telling me a lot that they love me too. The boys pulled out their tools this morning and told me they were working like daddy does! I took pictures for D so he could see.

D has been calling us every Sunday. I don't know if it makes things better or worse. He can only talk for such a short time. LC was really sad that he couldn't talk to D longer yesterday morning and wanted to know when he was coming home. Poor thing. He made me cry. GE is having issues with D not here the most. She has been really defiant and not so nice. I told her to stop being mean to mommy and she said "I sorry mommy".

In a week, my sister will be here with her husband. It will be nice to have more family in town. We plan to go to Disney Land and the zoo when she is here. Maybe even Legoland too if the weather is nice. It was so cold when my mom was here. We went to the beach a couple times, but mostly stayed around the house. I think the kids really wore my mom out. For some reason she had less patience then usual. Maybe I just notice it more now that I am not as stressed because of my medication. Little things don't bother me anymore and I noticed her being short with the kids more.

When my mom was here I went to a new doctor here in my city. I switched from my military doctor. So much happier. Why I didn't do this long ago I will never know. I didn't have to pay a thing and now I can see the same doctor every time I go in. He gave me a refill on my Paxil and gave me some Ambien to help me sleep. I have been sleeping so well now. It is like a miracle drug.

I keep looking at the professional pictures that we had taken before D left. They are all so great. I am so glad we did that because the pictures with D and the kids are priceless.

Happy Birthday my three little cuties!

2006-02-21T21:03:00.000-08:00

Born on this day, three years ago, you were my three tiny little miracles. I cried when I first saw you because you were so beautiful. I couldn't believe you came out of me. All those years of infertility and finally a miracle.

You amaze me every day. Even with your tantrums you are still my lovable three cuties. I love it when you tell me...I love you mommy! When you look at me with your bright eyes, your nose pushed to my nose and flash me a smile. When you hug me so tight it warms my heart. When you run hand in hand around the house giggling at one another. I love that you three are becoming best friends. You hate being separated and always wonder where the other one is if you aren't together. I love to hear you chat together about such silly things.

You are three bright, lovable, beautiful children and you are mine. Years ago, I never would have thought I would have three, three year olds. It was beyond my comprehension. Now I can't imagine life without you. You are helping me more than you know get through a separation from daddy that would be impossible without you. You keep me so busy that I hardly have time to be sad. We have bad days and good days that are typical with three toddlers, but I wouldn't trade my life for any other. My favorite moment is when I check on you after you are asleep at night. Your sweet little faces just make me melt. I could stand in your rooms and stare at you all night. I wish I could package up those moments and send them to your daddy. I can't imagine what the next year will hold, but we will get through it together and grow together. I love you pumpkins! Happy Third Birthday!

One week down

2006-02-19T13:50:00.000-08:00

I can't believe a week has passed already. That has to be a good thing right? I finally got some emails from D. He is at his destination and hopefully staying safe. He even called me one day this past week! That was weird because I wasn't expecting it. It was nice to chat and made me feel better about the whole situation. I hate satellite phones though. You constantly talk over each other and then you wait to hear what the other one says at the same time. It feels like a bunch of wasted time. But, hey I will take anything. He said he would try and call again on Tuesday because that is the official birthday for my kids! Three years old and Daddy is gone again. Bummer.

We have been getting by because the kids keep me so busy. Lately everyone has been really cranky and I can't figure out if it is there usual crankiness or they miss their daddy. They have been playing a lot and always including him. Talking to daddy on the phone or thinking he is at the door etc. It is so sad. We have made some movies on our digital camera and sent them over to him along with many pictures. My husband is the worst communicator long distance. It drives me crazy. He bought this high-speed camera and we have yet to receive a picture or movie. I have already told him to send us some and write more to us just about his daily routine. Something so I can understand and feel like I am still a part of his life. Long distance relationships are hard enough without little to no communication. Hopefully, he steps it up a bit over the next couple days.

I am finding that anyone that visits is never as helpful as I think they will be. I am getting annoyed, yet I don't know if I expect too much of people. I just feel, if you are going to come for a visit, and you know I have to do this day in and day out with three kids, wouldn't you help to give me some sort of a break? Especially when my visitors say...I don't know how you do this every day?!?

GE was in and out of the bathroom all day. I swear we made at least 100 trips in there and each time she tried to pee and did go lots. The problem was she had to poop yet wouldn't let it come out. Finally at 7:00pm she did poop and then didn't let it all come out. So two minutes later when she was playing she pooped in her underwear more as she was running back to the potty. So annoying. Then it fell on the floor because I didn't know she pooped yet. So I had to clean her up, the floor up, throw her clothes in the washer and chase the boys away. This all was happening while I was making dinner for us and the kids and my mom was doing Soduko on the couch. AHHHHHH.

I picked up the proofs from our professional photoshoot we took with D before he left. I LOVE every picture. It is going to be really hard to decide which ones to buy. I don't know how this lady did it, but every picture of the kids and D and I turned out great. So cute and withh smiling faces. Definitely worth it.

I will survive

2006-02-14T19:55:00.000-08:00

What a week. D and I had a million things to accomplish before he left. We got it all done for the most part. He really didn't want to go. He didn't end up packing until an hour before we dropped him off. It was his way of revolting. We even had friends over his last night home because he wanted to have fun and not get sad and have me all weepy.

I have to say after six deployments this was a hard one. I am still in denial though. Thinking that he will be home soon. The kids have been exhausting, but a great source of support and distraction. I am really never not busy. That is a good thing. Less time to dwell on the emptiness.

We drove him to base and said our goodbyes. The kids really didn't understand. This was the first time I have ever seen my husband cry. EVER. That made it harder. Usually I am the weepy one and cry my eyeballs out. Don't get me wrong...I cried too. It was hard. The kids are so cute and say so many cute things. That made it hard for D. He actually made us leave before he had to get on his bus. He couldn't take it any longer. When I was buckling the kids up in the car the kids said..."mommy, you are a cry baby". Then my daughter thought my eyeballs were falling out because of the tears streaming down my face. Comments like that made me smile.

When we got home we all napped from 2 to 4pm. When I woke up I had a sick throw up feeling. Emptiness. Then the kids had me going and we had to do baths and stories and kisses and the time went by.

As I was putting the kids to bed my daughter found a stuffed animal of mine from when I was a kid. She wanted to know all about it. I told her that Poppy (my dad) had given it to me when I was little. She said she would be right back and ran to my room. When she returned I asked her what she did with my animal. She said she put him in my bed to sleep with since daddy was away. When I went to bed she had pulled back my covers and had the racoon laying on my pillow all covered up. Too cute. I told all the kids that daddy had left me a bunch of kisses in my pocket for them. So every night I pull one out for each of them from him. They love it.

My mom came in on Monday and will be staying with us for a while. At least the kids are distracted and so am I. I haven't heard from him yet. Hoping he is staying safe.

One down, two to go!

2006-02-06T10:55:00.000-08:00

Big News...GE is now potty trained during the day! The underware worked and she knows she can't go pee in them or it leaks out. She has been peeing and pooping on the potty. She insists on wearing a diaper still at night. That is fine with me for now. The boys still don't seem very interested. I think I will start with LC next because he is ready more then GT. Maybe when GT sees LC wearing his big boy underwear he will want to train too.

We had the big 3rd birthday party on Saturday. D was so excited we were able to squeeze in the party before his departure. It turned out to be a beautiful day here, it was in the 80's and sunny. We had the bounce house in the backyard along with all our other outside toys. The kids all had a blast. We had two other sets of triplets and two other little boys and that was the perfect amount of kids! Any more than eleven kids would have been too many. We ordered pizza and I had ordered a cake that was a white cake with cookies and cream filling. It was so beautiful, it sort of looked like a wedding cake! It was decorated like a huge present with a giant bow. It was delicious. Also I had all sorts of munchies like chips, salsa, guacamole, veggies and dip and fruit and dip.

The kids got lots of fun toys and games from everyone. Then played and played until almost 9pm! It was a great day that really wore them out. D enjoyed every minute of the party and I am really glad I did decide to have it with him still home.

We aren't big football fans around here so we only switched on the game yesterday at half-time to see the show. D had picked up my TIVO/DVD recorder and hooked that up. So excited to have TIVO finally! I should be able to start recording today. We were all so exhausted after Saturday's party we just hung out all day and played with the new toys.

I switched my Lexapro to Paxil and it seems to be the same. The rash is going away little by little so I really hope this new medication helps me the same way without the rash! I need to stay sane and calm since D is leaving in a week. I am still in denial and hoping I can get through this year. Day by day!

Do you have to go to the potty?

2006-01-29T13:39:00.000-08:00

This is my phrase of the weekend! We started the crackdown in the potty training process. Just with GE for now. I am hoping to get her trained and maybe the boys will follow.

Everyone has been pretty good about pooping in the potty. This is because I know when they are getting ready to poop. They either turn red in the face or go and find a corner to try and be private about it. Usually, I can catch them and put them on the potty. In fact, on Friday night, LC was on the big potty and GE was on the kids potty and both pooped and LC even peed. Even though he peed straight out of the potty and happen to squirt it on his brother GT! That was fun. We all clapped for GE and LC though and made a huge party of it. M&M's and all. Seems to work pretty good. After GE was done that night I told her she was going to wear big girl underware and go pee in the potty too. She got all excited and was quite receptive this time. So Saturday morning we rolled up the area rug and she wore a skirt with underware. We had two accidents, but she was running to me to tell me she had to go. She just didn't make it in time. Then I went out wine tasting with friends and to dinner and apparently she told her daddy that she had to go, sat on the potty and went! Of course, I missed this! Progress though!

Today we had one accident this morning and we will see what the afternoon holds. I really hope we can work at this all week and by next weekend she will be day trained. Keeping my fingers crossed!

I really enjoyed my time out yesterday. I met my friends at the wineries and we had a blast. They had been wine tasting all day so they were a bit drunk when I met up with them. We did two wineries and then had an excellent dinner at the last. They all stayed in a villa for one of my friends birthday and since it was only five minutes from my house I came home around 11pm. So nice to get out without kids for a change.

My Lexapro has been making me feel great except for this allergic reaction. The blisters on my feet and hands have become unbearable and I am going to have to switch meds. Especially since I noticed I have some red dots starting to appear on my nose and cheeks. The thought of switching meds makes me so sad. I finally feel like I am on an even keel and dealing with D's departure so well. I just can't take this reaction any longer. I am wondering if I can go on another med the same time as weaning off Lexapro. I just don't want that crazy depressed feeling to resurface. Especially, not now! I put a call into my doctor on Friday and he never called me back. I have about had it with these Navy doctors and the military medical system. Even D told me to go to someone here in my town instead of on base. The military medical system is just so screwed up because you rarely see the same doctor and even if you do find someone you like they are always moving on. I feel like no one really cares what is happening and they kind of just shove your concerns to the side. So I am going to make some calls this week and see if I can find someone around here to see that accepts my insurance.

Thursday Thirteen

2006-01-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about Mommyd

1. D has finally finished all our baseboards in the house and now is fixing our fence outside that fell down from our neighbors tree. I just want the projects to end so we can spend time together as a family.

2. I need to find some more surf items for the boys bedroom. I might paint a mural of a woody car on their wall too.

3. I think I am going to buy the Toshiba DVD recorder/Tivo this week at Best Buy. They seem to have the best price.

4. I decided to have a small 3rd birthday party for the kids on Feb 4th before D leaves. We are just inviting two other sets of triplets. My kids won't know the difference of a small party or large party. As long as they have a party they should be happy! That is less stress for me too.

5. I started selling my daughter's clothes on ebay. I hope they sell. I want to use the money to purchase some paintings for her room and maybe the guest room.

6. I went to bed early last night, 9:30pm and woke up happy and refreshed. Not tired at all. That was a first in a long time.

7. I need to do that more often.

8. I need a haircut so we can get a family portrait taken by a photographer I hired.

9. GE needs a haircut too. I am thinking of just cutting her hair myself. She just needs a trim in the back straight across. I can do that, right?

10. She has never had a haircut!

11. I have been such a slacker in the potty training. I am going to get tough with GE this weekend. No diapers or pullups. Just underwear and a rolled up area rug. My whole downstairs is wood floors so if she has an accident it will be okay. All my kids have been good about pooping in the potty just not peeing.

12. I am going wine tasting on Saturday with my friends. Then to dinner. A night out! Yippee for me.

13. I am obsessed with my latest concoction. It is a fruit dip. 7oz of Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Cream and 5 oz of 1/2 the fat cream cheese. Whip together and dip with fruit. Heaven I tell ya!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Shannon
2. Jen
3. Better Safe Than Sorry
4.Sleeping Mommy
5. Ivy
5. Mamma B
6. d. challener roe

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Catching up

2006-01-24T17:22:00.000-08:00

Everyone is finally well around here. Colds last so long and are so draining. I hate Winter! Things have been crazy with trying to get things accomplished before D leaves. I ordered a entertainment system in navy from Pottery Barn that was a major project to put together. It is all in the playroom and put together though and I love it. It houses all the toys, tapes, books and TV. Marvelous purchase on my part.

I have been sorting through all GE's clothes to sell on ebay. I have never known anyone to have a girl so I have bins upon bins of the cutest girl clothes. All my boys clothes have gone to two sets of boy twins so those are out of here. My friend just showed me how to sell so I am hoping to make some money!

My friend that has triplets dressed her kids up in their Valentine best and I dressed mine up and we took pics today to order for cards. I swear I always have to take 500 to get one cute one. It is so hard to get all three looking at the camera and smiling. My friends husband made the cutest word signs for them to hold. One held LOVE another held HUGS and the last one held KISSES. They were all painted red and white and nailed together. CUTE! I am going to order cards for Valentine's Day for our family and close friends. Now I have to sort through all the pics to find the best one.

D and I went the other day to Best Buy to look at their TIVO/DVD recorders. I found one I like but it is so pricey. It is a Toshiba 160 GB DVD recorder/TIVO. I want to get it though before D leaves so he can hook it up for me and show me how to use it. I really want the DVD recorder feature to record things for the kids. We will see. Any advice on this?

Getting better

2006-01-18T13:42:00.000-08:00

Turns out the croup lasted only one night and didn't cycle through to the boys. The colds did and now all three have the runny nose, clogged head nastiness. My kids are so miserable and make me pay for their misery. My goodness, when they are sick I can do nothing right. I ask them..."would you like juice?"..."yes, mama"...I hand them the juice and they scream like I have done the worst thing on earth. I say..."I thought you said you wanted juice"..."NOOOOOOO"! Ugh, please let the sickness pass for my sanity!

I went to the doctor yesterday to get my meds refilled and to have the doctor look at my hands and feet. Turns out I have a rash which looks like little red blisters on all my fingers and toes. Disgusting, I know. They are sore too. My joints are real achy too in the morning. Like I aged from 33 to 63 over the past couple weeks. My doctor thought that I was having an allergic reaction to my medicine. Either that or a mild virus. He wasn't sure. He said I could stop taking the Lexapro for a couple weeks and see if anything changed and if it did I could start on another med or keep taking it and see if it goes away. Since I would have to wean myself off of it and then go through those nasty side effects again with some other med, I decided to stay on it. I just hope the bumps go away. I just got past the nauseous feeling and I would hate to go through that again. I really do feel like the meds are helping. I have had no crying outbursts and am feeling at ease about D's departure soon. It has even helped me with my PMS which I used to have severe angry outbursts once a month from.

While I was at the doctor I took the opportunity to stop by the exchange on base to do some shopping. I picked up some new pillows for the boys beds because they were sleeping with little tiny baby pillows. They were so excited to sleep last night. Then I picked up some birthday gifts for them. A Leappad learning thing and a V-Tech fly and learn globe which they will love. I also got LC some Thomas the Tank trains for his set and GE a Strawberry Shortcake doll. They don't need much since we just got a ton of Christmas toys! D wants to have just a family party before he leaves and then I am considering a kids party after he leaves when my Mom will be visiting.

Crap it's the Croup

2006-01-14T13:18:00.000-08:00

We have been battling junk around here...again. I hate winter. I hate germs. I hate other peoples kids that are dirty. I swear this winter season we have hung out with one other set of triplets and their mom is as nutty about germs as me. We sanitize everything. Wipe our kids down after they touch anything disgusting and Clorox wipes are our best friend. We never bring our sick kids around each other because that would be plain mean. I mean if we get sick it isn't just one sick child it is always times three and then possibly the mommy gets sick and then it is all over. So we are very careful and yet we are still getting sick.

We hadn't seen our friends in a couple weeks because they were sick and then we had sniffles and finally everyone was feeling better. So we had them over on Tuesday. We played here with all the new Christmas toys and then went down to the park on our corner. It was 80 out and beautiful. We played there for maybe a half hour came back to my house and played outside some more. Our day went so well and our six kids all get along so well that we planned to go to their house on Thursday.

Thursday came and we had a nice play date at their house. Everyone was playing happily, moms got some adult time and the world was great.

Thursday night I went to bed at 9:30 because whew that playdate wore me out! At 10:30 D came running into our bedroom with GE and said he thought she was choking. Then he said she was barking like a seal. Oh crap, I said it's the croup. Poor thing was having a problem breathing and was making this awful noise when she coughed. It was horrible. When the kids get a cold or the flu I know how to soothe them, what meds to give them and how to handle it. When your baby can't breathe and is sounding so ill it is heartbreaking. We looked it up on the Internet because I had never dealt with this before and it said to watch their breathing and then to keep them in a steamed room for 15 minutes. So off to the kids bathroom we went. D had steamed up the room and we sat for the allotted time. It seemed to help and she wasn't coughing anymore. So I decided that she would sleep with us so I could keep an eye on her.

I have never, ever slept with my kids. It just isn't something I do. Even when they were babies they always slept in their cribs. So it was awkward to say the least. I nestled her down between D and me and she was so miserable she just held onto my finger because I had my hand on her chest making sure she was breathing. I don't think any of us slept more then a half hour all night. I ended up steaming up the bathroom two or three more times to help her out. The poor thing was so worn out and miserable she fell asleep in there in my arms. Then I would have to bring her back to my bed and she would wake up miserable again.

We all took good naps on Friday and Friday night she slept the whole night through. My biggest worry is my other two will get it. The boys both sound like they are getting congested and have runny noses. No coughs yet. GE still has a bad cough and is very congested. Luckily she is sleeping and breathing fine now.

I honestly don't know where we pick up these types of viruses. We go no where and I santize with Clorox and Purell every where. I never let my kids touch anything and if they do I clean them up so fast they don't know what happened. The only place I can think we got this was at the park. Now we are going to be home bound and friendless again for several days until we get this junk out of here. I really hope are friends don't get it too because it sucks for a mommy of triplets to deal with it times three!

Five Weird Habits

2006-01-13T20:30:00.000-08:00

Five Weird Habits I Have

The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits I have" and people who get tagged then write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says you have been tagged? (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

1. I cannot get into an unmade bed. It has to be perfectly made with my pillows fluffed and covers neatly pulled up.

2. I absolutely have to check on my kids before I go to bed. Just to make sure they are covered and breathing.

3. I have to shower every day. Even when I was super huge pregnant with triplets I had to shower everyday. Oh and shave my legs. I have never gone a day without shaving. I hate that non-smooth feeling.

4. If I get sick, like throwing up sick, I have to throw up in a bucket or trash can. If I throw up in the toilet it makes me more sick.

5. I have to have my closet door closed at night or I can't fall asleep and I have to have a bottle of water on my night stand just in case I get thirsty.

I guess these aren't too weird. I am not tagging anyone else because it took me so long to get this accomplished after being tagged for it by three people!

Hopes dashed and medical/birthday dilemma

2006-01-11T14:34:00.000-08:00

I had it in my head that even though D is leaving for Iraq in a month that he might be home by the end of summer. I was thinking there is no way they would keep him over there for a year. Surely they would swap him out with someone else and send him home. So by September he would be home. This week he checked into his new job. Yesterday they had briefs all day about everything. One part, some higher up was talking, and said that unless you had orders to school (which we don't) everyone's billet would be for a year and that no one would be changing that unless the General said so. Darn. My wishful thinking got flushed down the toilet.

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My doctor never gave me a refill on my Lexapro because he wanted to see me to discuss how it is working. I had been waiting to make an appointment because D was starting his new job and I wanted to see what his schedule would be and find out what day I could go to the doctor and have him watch the kids. So finally, this week, I found out and tried to call in to get a time with my doctor. Damn HMO crap. My doctor apparently has moved on and isn't even taking appts anymore. I can't get an appt with my primary care doctor until February and my meds run out in 12 days. So now the only way to get in with some random doctor is to call in on the same day at 6:30am to get same day appt. So irritating. I hate seeing some random doctor. I have to go in though because I don't want my meds to run out and have to go through all the nasty side effects of the meds again. I just got past the nauseous feeling. I also have to go over my blood work I had taken last week. I need to know if my thyroid is the reason for my tiredness and hairloss. Oh and I also need a pap. I can't even call in until Tuesday because Monday is a holiday. D will just have to stay home on Tuesday because I have to get in.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been torn about having the kids birthday party. D wants to have their 3rd birthday party before he leaves. Short notice for planning a party. I tried to book a gym we go to often that my neighbors own and they were booked. I don't really want to have a party here at my house because that is stressful for me right before D leaves. So do I have a party? I know the kids would really get into it this year and D would love to be a part of it or do I just have a family thing with us and have it low key? What to do? I just don't know. It would have to be the first week of February and some of our friends are out of town. Also it is Superbowl weekend. Not that I am into football, but some people are. They actual birthday isn't until the end of the month. Sigh....I don't know.

Growing up

2006-01-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

I have noticed that the new year is always a turning point for my kids. At the end of each year they seem to blossom into the next learning stage. I remember their first year, around Christmas, they all started sitting up, then standing, then slowly walking with a walker. It seemed as if they were all waiting for the new year to show me what they could do.

Their second Christmas they really went crazy learning new words. It was amazing to hear them start to talk. This is also when they had fun with bigger kid toys like trucks and they got a new play kitchen. It was fun to watch them finally really interact and play with one another. Best buddies.

This year they have really turned into big kids. The end of this year we switched from cribs to beds, got rid of all the baby toys and now they are into their three train sets, tools, trucks, puzzles, drawing, playing house with the babies and dress up clothes. Every one now talks in sentences. They love to say things like "mommy don't bother me" or "I am going to the store to buy food". It cracks me up to hear these sentences come out of my babies mouths. These little kids used to be between 2.4lbs and 3.6lbs when they were born. Now they are all 27lbs to 33lb people. They are mastering drinking out of cups, trying to do their best to use the potty (although we are still working on that one), learning their full names and to call 911 in an emergency. All three are learning to count to 10, say the ABC's and to sing songs like "The Wheels on the Bus" and "Row, Row, Row your Boat".

Sometimes when I check on them at night after they are asleep, I am shocked. I walk into their rooms expecting them to be all laying in one crib making those gurgling baby sounds. Yet when I go in their rooms the boys are sleeping in their own twin beds and GE in her full size bed with comforters, pillows and animals galore.

I wonder what this year will bring in terms of growth?

Happy New Year

2006-01-04T13:27:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it is 2006 already. Seems like the year went so fast now that it is over. 2005 overall was a good year. A little reflection...

It was a year without a trip to Iraq for D. We had so much family time...I think more than we ever had before.

Even though D was really busy at Command and Staff school in Quantico and getting his Masters, he was still available and helpful.

I learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of doing.

I learned that it doesn't matter where we live as long as we have our family. I was so apprehensive about moving twice in one year. From CA to VA and back to CA with triplets. Amazingly, we survived all that.

We lived in a huge rental house that was the crappiest place I had ever lived. Tons of mold, leaking pipes, running toilets and disgusting flooring. We made the best of it.

I learned that friendships, when strong, can survive as well. I am so glad I am back in my clean, lovely home and surrounded by such great friends. Friends who all promise to support me throughout 2006 when D is back in Iraq. Friends who tell me I can call them day or night when I need them because the kids are driving me insane or it just is a really bad day.

I learned that it is alright to not have such a clean house that it squeaks. That a little dirt won't kill me or the kids. A lesson that had to be learned while living with massive construction during our home addition.

I learned that when things need to get done...like putting our house back together after the construction, unpacking the entire house, painting our entire house, landscaping our yard, D and I make a really good team.

I learned that I need to pick my battles with the kids. Let them solve some of their own problems and encourage them to be more self sufficent. They will be better kids for it.

I learned that I really need to treasure my children. Hug and kiss them more. Laugh with them, enjoy every moment after my friend lost her quads.

I learned that it is okay to reach out for help when something isn't right. Getting help for my depression was the best thing I could have done. I feel the meds working more and more and have a calm about me that I haven't felt in years.

I learned that you can make some really great friends on the Internet. Thank you to everyone who listens, reads and supports me.

I learned to treasure every moment with my husband. Because we never know what is going to happen while he is in the military. There is always a deployment lurking and it can pop up at any moment.

I really hope that 2006 turns out to be a great year even in the absence of my husband. This year is going to test me. I vow to stay strong and take it day by day. That is the best I can do.

Second Christmas Memories

2005-12-28T16:33:00.000-08:00

We all had a very Merry Christmas around here. The kids had so much fun opening and opening and opening all their gifts. They were very polite about the whole event. Asking for more presents, yet saying thank you for everything. GE was a typical girl and oohed and ahhed over all her clothes. The boys were really into all their trains and trucks. They really enjoyed the big fire truck ride on that we got them. It was a beautiful holiday weekend here with temps in the high 80's. We even had them out to bounce in their bounce house on Christmas Eve morning.

Christmas Eve they opened all their gifts from the family. They received so many wonderful things. Everything was a big hit! Mom and Dad got so wrapped up in the evening we forgot to feed the kids dinner and started to eat our holiday pork roast, green bean casserole and garlic mashed potatoes when I jumped up and realized the kids hadn't even eaten! I have never done that before! Luckily they were so excited about the gifts they didn't even mind. Before bed we wrote a note to Santa left him some cookies, carrots for the reindeers and milk. GE was very concerned that Santa would eat her butterfly sugar cookie, so we swapped that one out for a snowman and she was much happier. (This was a bigger deal then you can imagine!)

Christmas morning they all came down the stairs together and were so excited that they had more presents to open. Santa must have thought they were good kids because everyone got exactly what they asked for. LC received a train table with train set. GT received all kinds of new trucks. GE got some new Barbies, and the new shoes she so desperately wanted! Santa left all kinds of new learning books, games like Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Elefun and Hi-Ho Cherry-O. The kids really love playing their new keyboard and musical instruments like a whistle, the triangle, and sticks. They have formed their own little band called the "multiple noise makers that annoy mom"!

Lots of new toys means lots of busy little kids. They were quite bored of their old toys and had outgrown most of them. Thank goodness we added on that playroom this summer because we never would have had the space for this Christmas.

Hope everyone has a Happy New Year! We plan a low key one around here.

Letter to Santa from us Moms

2005-12-23T10:56:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my daughter's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.

I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.

If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on thephone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.

I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your sister," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.

If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.

If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup avegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.

It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my daughter saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think she wants her crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always, MOM...!

P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mommies you know

~author unknown~

Christmas ramblings

2005-12-20T20:41:00.000-08:00

The kids can hardly contain their excitement about Christmas. It is so adorable. Everything is about Santa, Ho,Ho, Ho, Lights, presents and their cute Santa hats they wear all day every day. They even wore them today to the park! I really can't stand waiting several more days for the holiday. They are going to have so much fun. I never thought Christmas could be this fun. I remember all the years I was trying to get pregnant. Struggling with infertility, longing and wishing for children. Sort of dreading the holidays because all my friends were celebrating with their children. It is so hard to believe I have three beautiful, almost three year olds! I need to step back and remember that. Enjoy them more. They are so darn fun and sometimes I get so wrapped up in being stressed out and letting little things get to me. Relax Mommyd, relax.

My mom and stepdad are already driving me insane though. Telling me what to do, discipling the kids in front of me after I already have, telling me I should have my dog in the house more. This and that and this and that. Ugh. Hello people...stressed out mommy already. Supposed to be helping. Oh well.

Where has the sun been? It has been overcast everyday here. Warmer around 78 today, but
cloudy. I like sun. It makes me happy.

I made two batches of cookies yesterday. Thumbprints with raspberry jelly and peanut butter kisses. Yum! I made the sugar cookie dough today and I will cut them out and cook them tomorrow.

Last night, we had grilled pork chops with ginger baked apples and I made sweet potato casserole with the marshmallows on top. So good. I am tired of preparing all the food every night though. D and I usually have a meal every other night. We ended up ordering out tonight since D was flying late. We ordered Red Brick Pizza which is my favorite. We got a large Hawaiian with pineapple, ham and cashews and a small margarita pizza for the kids. They loved it. It is so funny watching them hold up a whole slice of pizza. Just like big kids. They kept saying "yummy pizza mommy, mmm mmm good"! We also had the best Greek salad. I had bought a pumpkin pie at Costco yesterday and we each had a huge slice of that too. I am so stuffed.

A couple requests came in for my Cream Cheese Sugar Cookies. Here is the recipe...

Cream Cheese Sugar Cookies

Ingredients:

1 cup butter (real butter)
1 3 oz. package cream cheese, room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 egg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
3 cups flour

Directions:

Beat together butter, cream cheese, sugar, egg, vanilla and almond extract, until light and fluffy.
Add flour, beating until well blended.
Refrigerate until firm (overnight).
Prior to baking, allow dough to stand at room temperature until soft enough to roll easily.
To bake cookies, preheat oven to 375.
On a floured surface, roll dough to approximately 1/4" thick.
With lightly floured cookie cutters, cut into desired shapes.
Place 1" apart on ungreased baking sheet.
Bake 7-10 minutes (almost 10).
Makes 45 3" cookies

Frosting:

Powdered Sugar add a little milk and stir. Add food coloring for desired color.

Enjoy and Happy Holidays!

Stress

2005-12-18T21:29:00.000-08:00

Had a little relapse in the stress/anxiety/depression department. Luckily, I talked to my doctor and he upped my Lexapro to 20mg. Hoping that I don't get a return of the side effects. I was so nauseous for a week when I started it.

Last Thursday D said he overheard the XO talking specifically about me. Mentioning how I was rude at the Christmas party last weekend. Saying how he doesn't expect me to call him sir, but really. Ah news flash...I am not in the military...only my husband is. I don't have to call anyone sir. And all I said at the party was "is this our Hail and Farewell all in one night"? Meaning they usually hail someone when they come into the squadron and farewell them when they leave. Since we didn't have a hail and D is going to Iraq it could have happened. Then when the CO gave me a funny look I said "well do you expect me not to be bitter"? Why would I not be bitter when he is being sent to Iraq for a third time and this time for a year. Especially when some people have never been or only have been once. The XO is a piece of work. I don't like the added stress of these assholes when I already have to deal with the Iraq trip looming over my head, my three monkeys, the holidays and my admitted depression.

Friday I had my Dream Dinners session scheduled for 7pm and I told D to be home by 6pm. My friends and I were going out to dinner first and then to the session. Then up pops this "mandatory fun" Christmas party for the Group (all the squadrons). D didn't find out it was mandatory until the last minute because he was down at another base working at his new job preparing for Iraq. So he asked his boss if he could skip it because I had plans and we didn't have a sitter. He said no. He had to go. Totally doing it out of spite now. D was going to take the kids to it to prove a point, but it was at a bar and a good 45 minute trip away from our house. Also, I didn't want the kids to get sick again from the germs in a bar with a bunch of Marines. So I begged my sitter to watch them until D got home. She graciously did. I had a marvelous time out and made some really good dinners.

Saturday we picked up my parents from the airport and their plane was late. We ended up driving down to Point Loma and seeing our two friends graves since we had the time. We had never been back since their burial in 2002 and it was good for us to visit. They both tragically died in a helicopter crash. Very sad. It is such a beautiful cemetary overlooking San Diego Bay. Very serene and peaceful. The kids were all confused as to what all the white stones were. I think anything I would have explained would have confused them.

After my parents arrived, it was a mad dash to the squadron on base to see Santa fly in, in the helicopter. Unfortunately, we were five minutes too late due to the crappy San Diego traffic. Santa was sitting in the helicopter passing out gifts. I think two of my three were the only ones to cry besides a baby! LC did great and sat with Santa and got a new batman car, GT cried his head off, but got a new firetruck and GE screamed the loudest, but got a fancy new princess beauty kit. That has been the hit with all three. The boys love the blowdryer, pretend nail polish and mirror! Geez, I should have bought three of those! I made a great dinner that night. It was a raspberry glazed chicken, sea salt/olive oil baked potatoes and steamed broccoli. All so yummy.

This morning I made a caramel pecan peach french toast. It had cream cheese in it and it melted in your mouth. The whole house smelled warm and homey after cooking that and even the kids loved it. Since we had nana and papa's help all day we did lots of organizing. We organized the garage some more. Finally, really happy with the cleanliness. Put together some Christmas gifts. Hung up some hand me down clothes I got for the boys and GE and cleaned the house. Tonight for dinner I made Swedish meatballs with egg noodles and my mom made a huge salad that was bursting out of the bowl. We also had fresh french bread. Just delish.

I am wishing Christmas was sooner then next week because I can't wait for everyone to open all their gifts. I really enjoy the giving more then the receiving!

Thursday Thirteen

2005-12-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about Mommyd
1. My mom and stepdad come in for a week and a half on Saturday. I am excited for them to be here.

2. I hope they are helpful and not annoying. I haven't been with both of them since May. When my mom visited in September I had to remind her that I am the parent and she is the grandparent and she should not tell me how to be a parent.

3. I took the kids to the San Diego Wild Animal Park yesterday and they had a lot of fun. We rode the train around the park for the hour long animal viewing. They had a blast. We went with two other sets of triplets.

4. The other triplets I had never met and the one set was quite out of control. They were five year old boys and my goodness were they a handful. A little discipline would go a long way.

5. I am going to make Cream Cheese Sugar Cookies this week. I love them.

6. I have been putting off making them because I was afraid we would eat them all before Christmas!

7. I am going back to Dream Dinners on Friday night. Making my monthly 13 dinners.

8. I am so excited because a Dream Dinners just opened here in my city, right on my corner! We used to have to drive over an hour to get to the other one.

9. I am even going to go out to eat with my friends before going to make the dinners. A night out with friends! Yippee.

10. I ordered my parents a custom made calendar of photos of the kids for Christmas. It was from the Kodak website. I think it turned out so cute and can't wait to see it.

11. I have three weeks worth of People magazine piled up waiting for me to read. By now it is all old gossip. I can't keep up with the magazine reading.

12. I only subscribe to People, Self and now Redbook.

13. I have to pay bills today. Yuck, I dread that because it is such a chore.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Petroville
2. Interstellarlass
3. Better Safe Than Sorry
4. Texas_Ivy10
5. Sleeping Mommy
6. Sugar Mommy
7. Squashed Toad

(leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Is it Tuesday again?

2005-12-13T16:41:00.000-08:00

I am finding it so hard to get on here very often to update. This is such a crazy, busy time of year. We have been doing stuff every day and I am so tired.

Thursday, I took the kids to the park in the morning and then we went to the mall to see Santa. Oh what a stressful thing to do! It was our first time to see the man in the red suit! The kids were all excited and knew exactly what they were going to ask for. We waited in line and everyone was so excited. They were waving to Santa and couldn't wait to get up there. Then it was our turn. LC had no problem. Sat there quiet, asked Santa for a choo choo train so matter of fact. GE was a little unsure, but saw LC so she sat there and told Santa she wanted a new baby. Where was GT? Hiding under the table where the camera was set up, crying his head off! Would not get near Santa. Screamed like a mad man when I picked him up just to get a sucker from him. I have to say the Santa at the mall wasn't very friendly, didn't smile and really could have cared less about interacting with the kids. That disappointed me. Oh well. We did get a cute pic of GE and LC sitting on Santa's lap.

They will have another chance to see Santa when we go to the squadron Christmas party next Saturday and Santa fly's in on the helicopter. That Santa will come bearing gifts for them so maybe they might be more inclined to smile!

Friday night we had our squadron Christmas party. It was at the CO's house. It was a dirty Santa gift exchange. That is where everyone takes a number and each gift can be stolen twice and then it is frozen. There were 64 people there so the gift exchange was going to take a while. The party started at 6pm and by 8pm the exchange still had not started. I was so annoyed. So I kept looking at the CO and asking when it was going to get underway. He ignored me. I went to his wife and told her that most of us had babysitters and we needed to get started. She finally agreed and we all drew numbers. We were number 30. What a long night. I made a lot of comments about D being chosen for Iraq to both the CO and XO. They both gave me looks like I should be quiet. I said did you really think I wouldn't be bitter? It was an annoying night.

Saturday, our old neighbor came into town and spent the night on her way down to New Orleans. She recently accepted a new job and was going house hunting. It was so good to see her. She was the one who helped me throughout my pregnancy while D was deployed. She even gave me some of my progesterone shots for IVF. Super nice lady and I miss her as a neighbor. She loved seeing the kids and played and played with them.

Sunday, we inflated our bounce house on the front lawn and the kids bounced and played from 10am to 1pm and from 3:30pm to 5pm! That whole time D and I cleaned the garage. We finally can park one car in there. I am so happy because that garage was a pit and was driving me crazy.

On a side note, I mailed out all 60 of my Christmas cards and mailed the two boxes of gifts to my family. I am officially finished will ALL of my shopping even D. Yippee!

Thursday Thirteen

2005-12-08T08:53:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about Mommyd
1. We went to Kohl's yesterday after playing at our friends house. Two sets of triplets really freaked the old people out on 50% off Wednesday!

2. We got lots of "you really have your hands full"!

3. I hate that comment.

4. My kids have been obsessed with dancing to Christmas music. They love it and it is great to keep them busy for hours!

5. I won a contest from Ralph's, our grocery store. Apparently I was entered by using my Ralph's card. They sent me a holiday cd. Perfect for my kids!

6. GT's eczema is so bad. The poor thing keeps ripping his arms apart. I ended up buying a sports sleeve that you wear if you are injured to cover his arm up. He is so sensitive especially in the winter and it is so dry.

7. The only person I haven't finished my shopping for is D. What do I get him? I am at a loss. He is still going to Iraq in January so my ideas are limited.

8. We have to go to a "mandatory fun" Christmas party for D's squadron on Friday night. I want to tell the CO to really enjoy his 2oo6 with his family while D is sitting in Iraq for the entire year. Missing out on his children's lives. I am still bitter.

9. I am so glad we aren't on the East coast this winter. I hated the snow and cold. It is sunny here and in the 70's every day and I am so not taking it for granted!

10. I am going to call my doctor this week to have him up my dosage for my Lexapro. I feel like it is helping, but could be helping more. Still stressed and have too much anxiety.

11. I am taking the kids to see Santa today. I hope they don't cry. They are really excited. When I ask them what they want from Santa GE says "new shoes"! Typical girl! LC says "choo choo train" and GT says "trucks"! Cute.

12. D and I have to clean our garage this weekend. We used to park both our cars in there before we moved. It is now so messy we can barely walk through it. I am an organizing, clean freak and it is making me so mad!

13. I want a TIVO/dvd recorder for Christmas. I feel behind the times without it. It sure would be nice to record the kids VHS tapes to DVD too.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Randoms

2005-12-06T13:34:00.000-08:00

I happen to love Grey's Anatomy. It is such a fun show to watch and I like all the characters. Sunday night though proved too much for me. There was a story line about quintuplets. It was a continuation of last weeks show where the mother had the babies. This week all the babies were in the NICU each with their own set of problems. Nothing was very accurate about their portrayal of the NICU which was irritating, but I had to remember it was a TV show.

It brought back many memories of my babies NICU stay. I did that all alone and watching the show with D I was trying to explain all the emotions I went through. In paticular, I remember a really bad day that stood out worse then any other bad day. Since I didn't have too many good days visiting my children there were lots of bad days.

The babies had been in the NICU almost a month. I was worn, tired, alone and emotional. I drove an hour each way, each day to see my babies. I rarely missed a day for the 10 weeks they were in the NICU. Even when GE was sent home with me we still treked down each day to see her brothers. This one day GT became extremely ill. I was beyond frightenend, yet knew I couldn't get that upset or I would fall apart. I am the master at pushing away the stress and worry so I can function and get through each day. Here is my journal entry from that day...

3/18/2003

Well, the days keep getting harder. Today was not good. The doctor called me at 7am with bad news. GT had a very bad night and this morning they moved him back to the NICU. His saturation level was still low and he had a bloody stool so they knew something was wrong. He has a bacteria infection in his intestines and had to have a tube put down his throat to his belly to drain any fluid in there. (I know how he feels because that is what I had when I had pancreatitis.) It is most uncomfortable for him. They stopped his feeds to rest his belly. He has two IV lines one for his antibiotics and fluids and the other for blood because he was having episodes of apnea. He is just too wiped out from the infection to breathe. He had more than 10 episodes today where they had to shake him to remind him to breathe, so they decided to give him a blood transfusion to give him a little more energy. If that doesn't help him tonight they will have to intebate him. He can't go back on the CPAP (the more powerful oxygen instead of the candula he has now) because it will put too much air in his belly and they are watching that to make sure it doesn't get large from fluids. I am praying the blood helps him because intebating is pretty invasive and traumatic for him. They said he will be pretty sick for the next couple of days until the antibiotics really kick in. He won't be back in the ICN until he is fully better which could be up to 10 to 14 days. In the next four or five days he should start to feel better. Right now he is pretty lifeless and unhappy. It is the most horrible thing to have to watch him go through this. I feel so helpless and exhausted from the day.

LC, on the other hand, had his culture come back negative and seems to be feeling better. They took him off of the antibiotics tonight but still have him on a little oxygen just to keep his saturation up above 90%. He will stay in the isolette until him and GE move back in a crib together. He needs to stay warm and the isolette can do that for him so he doesn't lose weight. They all had gained weight overnight although GT probably lost some today after all that he went through. LC was 3lbs, GE was 3.10 and GT was 4.1. GE is still fine and sleeping all through this. Breastfeeding and bottle-feeding pretty good.

I was torn as to whether to tell D about all this (he is in Iraq), but I feel he would want to know what is going on. I put a message through the CO's wife and she relayed it to her husband to pass to D. Unfortunately, it was night when she called the CO and they were all resting and preparing for tomorrow. D is unable to call me anymore and the communication after today is cut off as they are preparing for war. This has been very difficult to go through without my husband.

Everyday I say I hope tomorrow is a better day than today (just like I did when I was pregnant). One day soon that has to come true. The doctors are very optimistic and say that this just happens sometimes because they are so little and just can't fight a normal infection. They say in a couple days things will be better and not to worry because he will be alright.

It did turn out to be alright. At the time I couldn't see past the NICU. I didn't know my three would grow up to be healthy and normal two year olds. That they would smother me with kisses and hugs one day. I really am lucky.

On Thanksgiving, my friend that was pregnant with quadruplets went into labor. She was only 20 weeks. Apparently the doctors did everything they could to stop her contractions. Her body just wasn't listening. Her water broke and she ended up delivering all four babies. Three boys and a girl. They all passed away that day. She held them, had them babtized and then they were cremated. How devastating. She already went through so much with a high-risk pregnancy for twenty weeks. I can't even imagine going into the hospital and leaving with nothing. The day I was discharged and had to leave my babies in the NICU I balled my head off the entire way home. My babies were alive. Please keep her in your prayers.

Long, sick week that ended with a clown

2005-12-03T19:34:00.000-08:00

We are finally feeling better around here. What a icky week. We all had the worst colds with runny noses, congestion and coughs. I actually came down with a high fever on Wednesday night and was shivering my butt off. That was the night that D had a big flight and didn't get home until 2:30am. I was quite miserable because I was so sick yet had to keep getting up with the kids. D ended up staying home from work on Thursday because I was so sick and just needed to sleep it off. I really appreciated that. Now poor D is sick with our gunk.

We ended up getting out today to our other good triplet friends third birthday party. The kids had a blast. They had a bounce house (the same one we have) and the kids jumped and jumped for quite some time. They also have a huge jungle gym/swing set that they really enjoyed. After lunch a clown came and painted faces. My kids were so scared. They knew a clown was going to be there, but still they were scared. Finally when all the other kids faces were painted they decided they might want something if mommy went first. So the clown painted a butterfly on my hand. GE got the same butterfly on her hand and LC had a blue race car put on his arm and GT had a train put on his arm. They were so happy after that! The clown also made balloon animals and hats which were so fun. I might have to hire this clown for my kids third birthday party!

It was a really good day to get out after staying in all week due to sickness. D finally met my friends and their husbands and enjoyed himself too. The kids were so tired though because they didn't get any naps. I hope they sleep good tonight and in late tomorrow. I still feel like I need my rest!

Thursday Thirteen

2005-11-30T20:12:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about Mommyd
1. We all have colds/flu around here.
2. Makes me mad that I am sick too.
3. Kids won't stop crying.
4. I need to sleep.
5. Thursday is going to be a very long day.
6. My other meds seem to be working.
7. Feeling better every day from the sadness.
8. Yeah!
9. I have almost all my presents wrapped and under the tree.
10. I have my Christmas cards and letter (all about the kids, no bragging letter here!) all finished. I just have to assemble them and print out my letter.
11. When did things suddenly turn around?
12. I am proud of myself for getting all these things done with three kids!
13. Sorry this is so boring this week, but I am sick and tired today.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Getting my smile back

2005-11-27T20:38:00.000-08:00

Sadness sucks and I am so happy I went to the doctor. On Wednesday I got up at 6:30 and called in to get an appointment. I got in at 9:40. I didn't know how bad I was until I was in my room and the doctor came in. He asked me to tell him what was going on and what was wrong. The minute he said that I burst into tears. Geez, I was out of control sobbing. He was the nicest doctor though and sat and listened to what I had to say. I told him I was a little stressed out. The combination of two year old triplets, a husband set to deploy to Iraq for a year, a home improvement, moving twice in one year across country had all been to much for me. I couldn't get a grip on things anymore. Everything leaves me anxious, tired, stressed, angry and weepy. He said that is all understandable and I should be stressed. He said having triplets alone would stress the normal person out. Add all that other stuff in and no wonder I went over the edge. He said he could give me a prescription for Lexapro to see if that helps me and also suggested I see a therapist. He started me on the lowest dose and said we can go from there. I felt so relieved. Someone was validating what I felt. Saying it was okay. I felt better already.

I started taking my pills that day and they left me a little nauseous. I have since started taking them at night and I feel a little better. They do make me really tired though which actually helps me sleep better. That pit has left my stomach today. It was the first day I didn't wake up with it. I know the meds can't be working already, but maybe they are a start in the right direction.

Depression is such a crazy thing. I know I had been stressed and feeling down for a while, but one day last week I just nose-dived down to where I knew something had to be done. I felt like I was drowning and I needed to save myself before I was too far gone. Going to the doctor was the best thing for me.

We had a really nice Thanksgiving at our friends house and it was good for me to get out. Being with friends was a good diversion. The kids were great because their house was like a museum and they didn't break a thing. They were the best eaters and really enjoyed their Thanksgiving feast. We decorated our tree and house for Christmas this weekend which really made me feel better. The kids had so much fun putting all the ornaments on the tree. They have been wearing their Santa hats all weekend which really is too cute. They call them their "ho, ho, ho hats"!

I really appreciate all the support. Even though I didn't feel I could write an update until today, I read your comments and they made me feel like I am human and sometimes this happens.

The one where she goes out of her mind

2005-11-22T13:42:00.000-08:00

I knew it was going to happen. I kept pushing it away though in the corners of my mind. Don't let it out. Don't admit to yourself that there very well may be a problem. Because if you don't admit it, really it isn't there. That is how I thought it worked.

Depression...such an ugly word. It couldn't be happening to me because I can handle everything. I couldn't be depressed. Depression is for the weak and I am not weak. I handled triplets alone in the NICU for 10 weeks. Alone. My husband has deployed so many times before they all blur together. Why can I not get a grip on my life now. I am in a dark, dark place and no matter what kind of happy front I put up it isn't working anymore. I can't smile and pretend. I can't. It is like the light turned off and I don't know how to turn it back on. I. don't. know. how. I have to admit I need help. That is hard. Once I realized that, the tears came and I couldn't stop.

I felt the worst yesterday. Everything the kids did bothered me. Even when they were being cute. I was snapping and mean and I just wanted to run away. I realized this though. I realized that nothing was making me happy anymore. I just had a sick, sick feeling. A pit in my stomach that never went away anymore. My hair is still falling out. My back is still going numb from stress. Unable to cope. This realization made me cry more.

D came home and I was crying. He asked if it was a really bad day. I said lately everyday is a bad day. Really though yesterday was no different then any other day. The kids were no worse then any other day. I just couldn't stop crying. I had D finish their dinner and I went up and laid down in bed. I couldn't stop crying still. Cried for maybe two hours. D kept checking on me. He was worried and asked what was wrong, what happened. I said I didn't know. He asked why I was crying. I said I didn't know. I just knew I couldn't stop.

I did know though. It is hard to admit there is something wrong with you. Something you can't handle. You don't know how. What I did know was that I had a problem and I finally was admitting it to myself. When I did that I cried...and cried...and cried.

D brought the kids up for a bath around 7 and I asked him what would be the latest he could go in tomorrow to work. He said noon because he was scheduled to fly tomorrow night. I said good because I am calling at 6:30am to the appointment line to get myself into the doctor. I told him I need help because I am depressed. He said he would watch the kids and to go. Even after this I didn't feel a sense of relief. Saying those words. Gave me nothing. Still empty, still sad. Such an overwhelming feeling of sadness.

to be continued...

I couldn't be more busy if I tried!

2005-11-19T21:38:00.000-08:00

I am exhausted. What a week. Three outings with the kids and then a Friday away from them. We went to the fire station, park, library and shopping at the outlets. The kids loved the fire station tour. It was a station built in the 50's and had three fire poles, sleeping quarters and many engines. The kids were in heaven. Although not one of my three would sit in the truck for proper pictures. Punks. They all got fire "helmets" as the firemen insisted we call them and a sticker badge. When one of the firemen tried on his uniform of pants, coat, helmet, mask, gloves and boots the kids freaked out. Very scared of Fireman Bob. They have been wearing their helmets ever since our trip and keep saying "whoo ohhh, whoo ohhh" simulating a siren. Very cute. The firemen dress up clothes I bought at Toys R Us will be a big hit!

The story time at the library isn't going as well as I like. My kids act like they have ADD and refuse to sit down and listen. The stories are so cute and interactive yet my kids don't really get into it. Frustrates me to no end. Especially since my friends triplets are all into it and participate so well. Her kids are a couple months older then mine and I guess that makes all the difference. Luckily it is only 20 minutes long and off to the park we go right after.

Friday, D had to only work a half day and I had my sitter. So we went off to do some Christmas shopping. We bought some trucks for the boys at Kohls because they were 40% off. Then we went over to Toys R Us and bought a military dress up set and a Firemen dress up set which I think they will all love. I picked up a bunch of games. The classics... Chutes and Ladders, Candyland, Hi Ho Cherry-O, a memory game and Elefun.

We then went to the movies again! We saw Prime. It was pretty funny. We ended up going to the 4pm show and we were the only couple in our theater besides two older women. So nice! After the movie we went and had dinner at California Pizza Kitchen. The parking at the mall was out of control. Turns out it was the night of Santa's arrival and the lighting of the Christmas tree. Then they had fireworks and a snowfall! No wonder there was no parking. I think everyone in our city was at the mall. The wait for dinner was 30 minutes so we walked the mall while waiting.

The mall is the major teen hangout for our town. What I saw was scary. The girls were all dressed pretty trashy with low rise jeans, tank tops showing their midriffs and a ton of makeup. These girls eyes were all lined like raccoons. I know they are trying to look good and experiment with makeup, but they all just looked trashy to me. The boys all have their jeans falling off with underwear showing. Why is that a hip style? Can I keep my kids sheltered forever? I don't want my kids looking like this or acting like these kids were. Scary. D said all we can do is teach our kids right from wrong and send them out in the world knowing that. Or, I said, keep them locked up at home cute and innocent forever.

When we finally were seated I decided to order the Hawiian pizza and D had the Thai linguini. Delish. We had the best raspberry lemonade too. I had three pieces of pizza which isn't really agreeing with me today. Too much fat. Shouldn't have eaten those two left over pieces today either. We were done with dinner by 8pm and I was ready to fall asleep at the table. I couldn't wait to get home, get into my pj's and jump into my comfy bed. So sad, but true.

I went back to Dream Dinners today to make my 13 dinners for the next month. Love to stock up on the food. The Smashing Pumpkin Cheesecake smelled so good! I am so glad I made two of them. Although the fat in that might be a bit much. I am going to take one of those to our friends for Thanksgiving. I decided not to cook and take them up on their dinner invite. I hope our kids behave!

Thursday Thirteen

2005-11-17T08:06:00.000-08:00

Thirteen Things about Mommyd

1. Lost was a new episode! Yeah!

2. I took the kids to tour a fire station yesterday with my triplet group. They had a lot of fun. They all got firemen helmets and badges. Too cute. I need to post more about this later.

3. Today we are going back to the library for story time and then to the park to play and have lunch. Now that we know what to expect for story time I hope my kids get more into it.

4. Every day is a roller coaster regarding Iraq. We heard this week that D was getting taken off the list. Heard this from one of the top people in charge. Yesterday we heard from his XO that he was still on this list and nothing has changed. I can't take the stress. I.Just.Can't!

5. I would love to take a vacation to get away from the stress. On an island with crystal clear, blue water. A warm breeze blowing and the sun warming my skin. A place where I could just sigh a huge sigh and breathe without feeling sadness.

6. There is nothing like a good friend that can totally relate to what you are going through with your kids. I love my triplet mom friends!

7. I can't believe Thanksgiving is next week. Do we stay home and have some good friends over with me cooking? Or do we go over to some different friends house where I have to do nothing but keep my kids in line? No cooking at all. That is the question.

8. My mom told me a friend of mine from childhood, who is four months pregnant, found out yesterday that she has breast cancer. She is 30. I am shocked.

9. They told her they have to remove some lymph nodes. That might cause her to lose her baby. Sickening.

10. My mom is insisting I get a mamogram immediately. My mom is a breast cancer survivor.

11. I was on lots of fertility drugs to get pregnant. IVF once. Extra estrogen. Not good. I am only 33. I don't think my insurance will cover a mamogram until I am 35. I am going to try though.

12. We got out of going to the second Marine Corps Ball on Friday. I want to go to the movies instead.

13. A night out with my husband once a week...I can deal with that!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. Samantha
2. Petroville
3. Interstellarlass
4. Better Safe Than Sorry
5. Texas_Ivy10
6. Sleeping Mommy
7. Running2K's
8. Mar
(leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

Weekend recap

2005-11-14T13:17:00.000-08:00

The ball was a nice night out. My dress bugged me all night because it was too big. D looked handsome in his Mess dress uniform. The ball was at the Sheraton right down town. It was a beautiful hotel right on the bay. We got down to San Diego at 4:30 and went up to our pre-party room. The CO and the XO and their wives were in there. These were the only two couples I knew from our past life in the fleet besides a couple we sat with at our table. It took everything in me to be nice to them since they were the two people who had everything to do with D going to Iraq for a third tour. I was pleasant though and bit my tongue a lot. The XO's wife made some comment about D being off the list for Iraq. I said really, because we haven't heard anything official. She said she was pretty certain he was off the list. I told her it would be nice if her husband would officially tell us that. That way I could have either a really shitty time at the ball or really great time. Nothing else was ever said. I love how they are toying with my life.

For once the food was pretty good and they had an excellent DJ. This was a combined enlisted and officer's ball. Something we have never had before. Usually we just attend the officer's ball. Needless to say it was an interesting mix of people. Lots of interesting gowns. Lots of large tatoos showing. Lots of drinking right out of the beer bottles. It all made for really good entertainment. Basically you had the single guys, the single guys with dates, the young married couples with or without kids and then us the older married couples with lots of kids! We didn't eat dinner until almost eight and I was starving by then. I scarfed down my salad and roll way before anyone else at the table! Then I ate my chicken, mashed potatoes and vegetables nearly as fast. By 10pm D and I were exhausted and ready to drive back home. This is when most of the people were just getting started ready to party! Funny how kids change you. The kids just don't care if you are out late partying. They are still ready to get up and play bright and early. We ended up getting home around 11pm. Still it was a night out, dressed up, no kids with adult conversation! That doesn't happen often around here!

Friday, D had off for Veteran's day. We had our babysitter come back all day so we could have some time without kids again! Some kind of record around here. We went out to IHOP for breakfast. I had the caramel apple french toast with eggs and bacon. Yum! Enjoyed reading the paper in the morning for once instead of after the kids go to bed. We even were offered a military discount. Who knew they did that at IHOP? Then we went to Office Depot to look for a desk blotter and then stopped at the mall to see Derailed. Interesting movie. Suspenseful yet a bit predictable. Still it was a good movie. We hadn't been to the movies since sometime last February and we can't even remember what we saw! Then we did a little bit of Christmas shopping stopped at the bookstore, fruit market and headed home. Most enjoyable non-kids day!

Saturday, we played around the house with the kids and had two friends over for dinner. I made some grilled creole steaks, garlic, cheesy mashed potatoes and some stir fryed vegetables. Then mango bars and ice cream for dessert. Pretty good except for the steaks were cooked a little too long on the grill.

Sunday, D and our friend reinstalled the door we had to rip out to get our office desk in the room. Enlarging it by two inches. Also replaced some floor boards in our wood floor that needed fixing due to the transition into the room.

Very productive weekend.

Thursday Thirteen

2005-11-10T08:04:00.000-08:00

13 Super Sweet Morsels about Mommyd

1. It suddenly got chilly here and I am enjoying wearing my winter clothes.

2. I am going to the Marine Corps Ball tonight.

3. I tried on my dress and it is to big. I don't really care. It was my bridesmaid dress from my sisters wedding. Long, black and simple.

4. I am not to thrilled about going to the ball because of the Iraq issue. Although it is a night out without kids!

5. I can't believe the amount of Christmas commercials on TV already. I am excited for the holiday though. The kids will really have fun this year.

6. I love my new shoes I bought this week. They are so darn cute.

7. I am redoing the boys room in a surfer theme. It is going to be so cute. I bought some cute surfer tin pics on ebay. Their valance will be a raffia one like a grass skirt. I am excited to start getting it together.

8. The boys have slept so well in their big boy beds. It is scary! They go to bed no problem and never get out of bed in the morning until I come in at 8:30! Naps have gone well too.

9. I need to start wrapping my Christmas gifts. That way I won't be overwhelmed in December.

10. I think I am going to hire a professional photographer to take our family portrait and pics of the kids this year. We always go to Picture People and I never like the pics we get there. The photographer I want to hire has taken at least six sets of triplets pictures.

11. I love my new mattress I got this week. It is a Euro-topped mattress and so plush. I have been sleeping great.

12. D has off Thursday, Friday and the weekend. Extra help for me, I hope.

13. D suggested I go to the spa on Saturday to get away from the kids. I tried to book a massage and facial and they were booked. Boo hoo!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Petroville
2. Interstellarlass
3. Better Safe Than Sorry
4. Texas_Ivy10
5. The Daily Haleigh
6. Sleeping Mommy
7. Sugar Mommy
8. Jen's Horde
9. Running2K's
10. Unwellness

(leave your link in comments, I will add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Thirteen things is all I ask for, and what do you get in return? Linkage! If you do it, leave a comment here and link me to your Thursday Thirteen. I will be sure to update my entry with links to yours, and then you can continue the chain if you like! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

A little of this and a little of that

2005-11-09T13:52:00.000-08:00

Finally it fit! We ripped off the whole door jam and in it went. So now my nice, new, fancy desk it all set up. Love it. The door is still missing, but hopefully D can put in a bigger door this weekend so we don't have to have a repeat when and if we do ever move again.

Filing cabinet with hutch
Beautiful desk!

Yesterday, I went shopping. I took my kids and my friend that has triplets the same age joined us. We had so much fun. We went to the premium outlets in Carlsbad which have so many great stores. Of course, right when we got there all of our kids were starving. We went and waited in line at Ruby's diner. I really wanted to go to Belle Fleur which has great wine, but not really a triplet friendly place! While we were waiting in line we were quite the spectacle with our two sets of triplets. Everyone kept asking if our kids were twins. Two in each of our sets look similar, but not identical. We just said no and smiled. We never bring up the triplet thing because that just draws more attention which us multiple moms hate. Some women walking by said "oh look twins! That would be soooo hard!" My friend and I just smiled and said "no actually, twins would be a snap!"

The ladies in front who originally asked if they were twins kept pumping us for info. How old are they? I said they are all 2 1/2. All of them? Yep. But how is that possible, they can't be? Yes they are. How many are yours? Three are mine and three are hers. Are you sisters? No. They are all the same age and they aren't twins? Oh my word lady! If you are that dumb I will just tell you (I didn't say this, just thought it). I said they are two sets of triplets. TRIPLETS! Screaming. Wow she said. I had three kids, but at different times. Oh good for you. I am sure you can relate to us then. Laughing. Then they were seated and someone in the back of the line saw all six of our kids sitting on the couch waiting for our huge table to be cleared. She screamed out "look sextuplets"! Oh geez. Some people!

Our kids were the best ones in the restaurant. So well behaved and eating great. We both brought our twin strollers and had one of our three walk. So much easier this way then toting the huge Runabout triple stroller. LC was my walker and he did great. I bought GT and GE some new shoes that were too cute to pass up. LC can still fit in GT's old shoes from last year. I also bought the cutest pair of mules for me. LOVE them! Carlos Santana embroidered mules that are just fab.

We stopped in Baby Gap and I picked up some cute shirts for GE. She really needed some long sleeve tees. They are adorable. Also picked up some socks to match. Then we went on to Gap for me. Found some new jeans that have the perfect wash. I needed to get some new jeans since most of mine don't fit anymore. Since my gall bladder surgery I have lost so much weight. All my old size 8 jeans I swim in. I am so pissed because I have the cutest pants and I never will be that size again. So I picked up a size 4 which was perfect. Also bought a pick velvet sweat outfit that is just soft and comfy. Have it on right now and it is heavenly. Headed over to Tommy Hilfiger store and picked up some cute crew neck tees in yellow, pink and green. It was hard to shop in there because the double stroller wasn't fitting around the store. The kids were also getting tired since they missed their naps. I would have liked to buy more jeans there, but it wasn't in the cards.

We strolled for a little while longer and headed home. The kids were exhausted since we left there at 3:30 and immediately fell asleep for the whole trip home. That meant no Wiggles for me and I could listen to the radio for a change!

Lovely day.

My cutest mules that are a brown satin

Side view

GE's shoes on the left and GT's shoes on the right

Cute, aren't they?

Of course it doesn't, why would it?

2005-11-04T22:18:00.000-08:00

Nothing can ever goes as planned around here. EVER. Why can't things just work out to keep my stress level down? Here was the problem today. I had all my deliveries betweem 12pm and 3:30pm. My new mattresses were delivered for me and the boys. That went smooth. I was worried the boys wouldn't get a nap because their beds weren't delivered until later in the day. So to squash that worry I had LC nap in my new bed and GT nap in my old bed which is now in the guest room. The boys did fine and napped for two hours! First time to nap in big beds.

Then my Ethan Allen office furniture came. So exicted to finally have a proper office and set up my computer on a desk instead of my old art table. Problem is the f***ing desk won't fit through our new door! The new door jam and door we just installed! So I had them leave the desk in my kitchen and told D it looked like all he would have to do is rip off one small piece of the door jam. He did that when he got home and the f***ing desk still wouldn't fit. 1/4 inch too big. So now we get to rip out the brand new door jam to get the desk in the room. Who measures a doorway before they buy a desk? Not I! Damn it. This $4K plus desk will fit in the damn room if I have to rip down a wall!

The boys beds were delivered and they are so cute and perfect. The boys were so excited about sleeping in big boy beds and wanted to go to bed at 6pm! Yippee! Our nightly mantra is now...Do we get out of bed? NO!, Do we touch the blinds? NO!, Do we cry? NO!, Do we jump in bed? NO!

Happy Weekend! More flippin projects around here!

The uber expensive, too big desk! (okay that light is not in my house and hasn't been used in years! Headed to the trash!)

The rest of the office furniture that actually fits in the room. Waiting anxiously for its mate.

Thursday Thirteen

2005-11-03T09:15:00.000-08:00

13 Super Sweet Morsels about Mommyd

1. I heard a cobra helicopter crashed yesterday and the whole Iraq thing made me sick again. What is horrible about that news is my husband knew one of the pilots. He just left for that deployment a month ago.

2. I took the kids to the gym yesterday and they had a blast with their other triplet friends.

3. Today we are going to the library for story time and then to the park with our friends.

4. My mom and step dad booked their trip out to visit for Christmas. The kids will be so excited to see nana and papa.

5. We bought the kids mattresses the other night and ended up getting a new one for us too. I am so excited because our current mattress is at least nine years old and sucks. They are getting delivered on Friday with the boys beds and my office furniture!

6. I have a baby sitter for the kids on Friday so I can deal with deliveries, laundry, packing away the Halloween decorations, then organizing my office.

7. Once I get my office furniture I can get out my scrapbook stuff and start that up again. I can't wait.

8. LC has been doing something so cute this week. When I said "mommy is so tired" he went behind me grabbed on to my shoulders and squeezed saying massage momma!

9. Now they all do it!

10. My favorite thing that GE says right now is "coconuts". In her sweet little voice it is too much.

11. The kids love watching themselves on video, so that is my new thing when they get crazy and bored. I put on a tape of them when they were babies and they eat it up!

12. Big boy beds on Friday. Could be the end of my freedom.

13. I love when my kids are playing together and they don't know I am watching. They say please and thank you handing toys back and forth...all on their own. That is when I know I am doing a good job.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Petroville
2. Interstellarlass
3. Better Safe Than Sorry
4. Texas_Ivy10
5. The Daily Haleigh
6. Sleeping Mommy
7. Sugar Mommy
8. Jen's Horde
9. Unwellness

(leave your link in comments, I will add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
Thirteen things is all I ask for, and what do you get in return? Linkage! If you do it, leave a comment here and link me to your Thursday Thirteen. I will be sure to update my entry with links to yours, and then you can continue the chain if you like! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Halloween Recap

2005-11-02T15:32:00.000-08:00

We had a happy Halloween, how about you?

The kids had so much fun trick or treating. They could hardly wait to get their costumes on after their naps. They didn't understand that trick or treating doesn't start until it gets dark! They were the cutest Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Tigger I have ever seen. I could have just dipped them in chocolate and eaten them for dessert. Their little pudgy cheeks and cute little noses...yum! So adorable. They loved running from door to door screaming "trick or treat". They were all very polite and said thank you after every candy gift. We went down our street and around the two cul de sacs and then home. Their little pumpkins were so heavy with candy they could barely carry them, but they insisted! They played on the front lawn when we got home as we handed out candy.

We still have a huge bowl of candy left from their treats. Oh darn! We didn't have as many children as I thought we would. Although we missed a good chunk of kids while we were out. D was able to come home by 4pm so he was involved in all the festivites too for a change!

This was the first time the kids had candy and they didn't know what to think. I gave them all a sucker and they made the funniest faces. None of them wanted to finish it! They enjoyed swaping them between each other to try out all the flavors. Then they had some smarties and they weren't sure at first, but then grew to love them. By 8pm we closed up shop and didn't have anyone else.

It was a really fun night. I am going to do a rare thing and post a picture of me and the kids. They are too cute not to.

Jam packed weekend

2005-10-31T20:28:00.000-08:00

Happy Halloween!

Busy weekend. Friday, I had a babysitter for the kids all day and went grocery shopping, took my dog to the groomers, did some Christmas shopping and found some bunk beds for the boys! Very productive day.

Saturday, I finally had my haircut. Had two inches cut off and it is still past my shoulders. So much better though. It doesn't get all tangled now and it feels healthier. Even though my hairdresser said my hair is the healthiest she has seen in a while since I don't color it or use much product. I talked to my hairdresser about my crazy bald spot. She said it looked like alopecia which is most likely caused by stress. Really it isn't that big on my head. Just about the size of a quarter and with my straight, fine, dark brown hair and strategic parting no one knows that I have it. She said most likey a doctor would tell me to de-stress and my hair should grow back. Yeah, right!

Once I got back from the haircut we took the kids up to the furniture store so I could show D and them the new beds. They are so nice and we ended up ordering them. They are bunkbeds in a navy blue. The ends look like beadboard. We will have them separated until they are a little older. They are going to be delivered on Friday. Yikes, I hope they are as good as GE was.

While the kids napped I cleaned because our friends with twins and the girl who is having quads were coming over on Sunday. I cleaned the floors, dusted, did laundry, cleaned toilets, sinks and got rid of clutter. Nothing like company coming to get me motivated to clean! Then the kids got up and I let them play in their costumes for a bit. They are just so darn cute in them. They were shouting "trick or treat" over and over. How fun. After dinner D carved their pumpkins. They had a blast watching daddy. He did a darn good job too!

Sunday all the multiples came over although the quads are still in my friends belly! She looked good though. I think she is really overwhelmed with the thought of quads. She kind of glazed over when I was telling her about having triplets. I am afraid she didn't ask me enough questions. I keep emailing her info though so hopefully that helps. She looked at my two scrapbooks that I started from when I was pregnant to Halloween of last year. Then watched the videos I had of the kids birth up until present. I really hope that gave her some sort of idea of how multiples will be. She will never know until she is doing it, but every bit of info does help. They took GE's crib home with them along with loads of other stuff. I had three pack and plays, a wipes warmer, changing pads, blankets, safety gates etc. It was kind of sad seeing GE's crib leave the house. Such a huge milestone. I will give her the boy's cribs after we get them set up in beds this weekend.

I was so blown away by every one's support and kind advice in regards to my last post. It really meant a lot to me. This blog thing is a funny thing. You throw out your deepest thoughts, insecurities, misgivings about your life and people actually read what you have to say and care. It put a smile on my face on a not so happy week.

The inevitable

2005-10-29T20:12:00.000-07:00

It is happening. Whether I want it to or not, D is still going to Iraq in January. We kept hearing positive rumors and I thought maybe his name would be taken off of the list for this billet. No such luck. He got an email this week that he is to report down to MCAS Miramar for training for his new job...the one in Iraq. Ick. It brought it all back. I liked pretending that he wasn't going. Living life as if everything was great. Enjoying our family time without anything looming over our heads.

Now I have that pit in my stomach again. That blah feeling like he is going to miss so much of our kids lives. A year. That is just so long. The worst thing about this is usually he is the strong one. When a deployment comes up he knows that it is his job and goes with the flow. That makes me be a stronger person and pull it together. Usually. Not this time. He is just as upset if not more then me this time. That is hard for me. I just don't know what to say. It just makes me sad and weepy. I am crying again about this crap. I hate wasting my time on it. I hate it. D thinks that even if there is a plan to keep him here, once he does the training for the job they won't let him get out of it. Such a bummer.

I really want to just cheer D up. How do you do that though? There is nothing positive about going to Iraq for a third tour. Nothing. Nothing positive about missing a year of your triplets life. Nothing positive about leaving your wife to care for the three monkey kids by herself. It leaves me empty.

Bitter. Once again, bitter.

Thursday Thirteen

2005-10-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

13 Super Sweet Morsels about Mommyd

1. I hate reruns. I really missed not seeing a new Lost episode last night.

2. Everyone is STILL sick around here. It is getting old. I can't wait until I have happy kids again that don't have runny noses, coughs and wake in the night.

3. My friend that thought she was having triplets that now is having quads is taking the news quite well. I really hope the rest of her pregnancy goes smooth.

4. I think my itchy eye problem could be the new mascara I just bought from Estee Lauder. Bummer since it was a bit pricey.

5. I attemted to make a haircut appointment for Saturday. Waiting to hear back from my hairdresser, who I haven't seen since I moved over a year ago. I need one so bad. I haven't had my haircut since August. My hair is now past my shoulders and desperately needs a cut before the two Marine Corps Balls I have to attend in early November! I hope she can squeeze me in.

6. Still chowing down on the Halloween candy. Bad, bad, bad.

7. I am amazed that my inlaws sent my kids Halloween cards. We haven't spoken to them in months. Maybe they are finally feeling some guilt in not having contact with their grandkids.

8. My lawn man quit this week. I am so pissed. He left a note on our car! How unprofessional.

9. I need to take my kids and finally venture out today. Sickness or not. They need shoes. I put their tennis shoes on them after a summer of wearing sandals and none of them fit in them. Yikes! I hate how many pairs of shoes I have to buy and they are worn so little as fast as their feet grow. I want to get them some cute fall shoes. Where to go without spending a fortune?

10. I made a dream dinner last night that was quite fab. It has to be my favorite so far. It was a salisbury steak dinner with red potatoes and seasoned with rich beef gravy.

11. I am going to let my kids play in their Halloween costumes today. They love them and hopefully they will get used to them and want to wear them all Halloween night.

12. I love CSI, NY, Miami and Vegas. Such a great show.

13. My stepdad had hip replacement surgery yesterday and came through with flying colors. I really hope it is a quick recovery so my mom and him can come out for a visit over Christmas.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Petroville
2. Interstellarlass
3. Better Safe Than Sorry
4. Texas_Ivy10
5. Sugar Mommy
6. Sleeping Mommy
7. Jen's Horde
8. Phoenix

(leave your link in comments, I will add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Thirteen things is all I ask for, and what do you get in return? Linkage! If you do it, leave a comment here and link me to your Thursday Thirteen. I will be sure to update my entry with links to yours, and then you can continue the chain if you like! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Cloudy day to match the mood

2005-10-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

The illness continues. It is still cycling through all of us. GE has it the worst right now. Runny nose, congested, aching head. Poor thing. Nothing seems to help her either. The boys just seem to have coughs. LC is the only one that it seems not to be bothering too bad.

I feel like I have a cold in my eye. Is that possible? My left eye is sore and keeps leaking. Like tears. Weird. I have never had that happen before.

Yesterday and today we cancelled our play dates and have been laying around. I give up on the structured play. It is pointless with three whining and crying toddlers. I have resorted to the TV. Bad. I know. I never have the TV on so they think it is such a treat and totally veg out. Giving me piece and quiet for my throbbing head and eye. Today is worse then yesterday simply because the weather sucks too. It is cool and cloudy. Matches our mood I guess.

To top it off D is flying tonight, Wednesday and Thursday and with this weather it looks like he might get stuck out in the desert and not be able to fly home at all. Lovely!

Clouds...
and yet more clouds

This is how we spent our day TV zombies

Crud

2005-10-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

We all have some sort of crud around here. GT started with a mild cough that now sounds like it is in his chest. He always gets it the worst, I think, because he had Chronic Lung Disease when he was born. GE now has a cough as well. They are doing so well with covering their mouths though! I woke up all achy and have a sore throat and my head feels like it is going to explode. I have no desire to eat at all. Yet, feel faint if I don't. I hate that. I took two Dayquil hoping that would help. Doesn't seem to be at all.

We were supposed to have our friends over that have twin boys and a friend of theirs who was supposed to have triplets in February. On Thursday, she went to find out the sexes and they found another baby! So now the poor thing is having quads! Shocking. The thought of quads makes me shutter so I can only imagine how she feels. She was going to come over and see a day in the life of triplets. We had to reschedule because as it turns out the twins are sick too. So next weekend they will be coming over. The doctor said she only has four more weeks before mandatory bedrest. So we have to get her to come over before then.

I am sort of happy to have a day to lay around in sweats and do nothing but watch the kids play. We have been going, going, going which I enjoy, but I do like a day of down time now and again. I laid on the couch or the playroom floor all morning. The kids just played or built forts around me. I am so glad they are at the stage where they can sort of amuse themselves when I feel icky. I remember getting the flu from them when they were nine months old. It cycled through all of them and then I caught it when GE had it last. It was horrible. We all just laid in a pile, but they still needed so much attention. So between throwing up and shivering through my fever I still had to feed them all bottles (every four hours), change, bathe and amuse them. It was like being in hell.

It really is no fun when the mommy gets sick. No fun at all when the daddy doesn't understand that the mommy does get sick once and a while too.

Thursday Thirteen

2005-10-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

13 Super Sweet Morsels about Mommyd

1. The person I had to confront last week took it well. Things are worked out for now, but I will have to stay on top of them. I feel so much better.

2. I bought some Halloween candy. Big mistake. I keep eating it, little by little. I can't stop. I love Dots, tootsie rolls, m&m's, junior mints etc. I should have bought it all the day before.

3. The kids had fun at the gym yesterday. It was good for us all to get out and burn off some energy.

4. I enjoy my kids so much more when we get out. I tend to focus on all their negatives when we stay home and everyone is fighting.

5. After we got home from the gym and after naps we invited the little boy that lives across the street over. He is a maniac and really made my kids seem like angels. He has the attention span of an ant. He was throwing balls into our ceiling fan, running all throughout my upstairs. Jumping on GE's bed. I can't say we will invite him over again. Why is it so hard for parents to discipline their kids? I would never allow my THREE to do anything close to what he was getting away with.

6. I made chocolate cookies stuffed with caramel last night and they are delish. Not what I needed on top of the Halloween candy.

7. I have to take my dog to the groomers because he stinks. He is such a dirty dog. Ick.

8. I hate how my family keeps making me feel guilty about not coming back to Michigan to visit. We lived in VA for a year and came home or saw family almost every month. Every time we went to MI, a ten hour drive, we stayed for two weeks. I live in CA now, get over it, and come here for a visit if you want to see the kids.

9. I am a little concerned about the hurricane headed for FL. My dad lives in North Port which is just north of where it is supposed to hit. Praying it dies down to a Catergory 1 at least.

10. I really hate the amount of laundry my family generates. I hate that I have to wash at least six loads a week. Fold it. Hang it up and put it away. Pain in my butt.

11. I hate emptying the dishwasher daily as well.

12. I really want to get back into scrapbooking. I thought I was so caught up when I last scraped my Halloween pics from last year. Now I am a year behind. Darn.

13. Why is the show Yes, Dear still on? Does anyone watch this stupid show?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Jen's Horde
2. Petroville

3. Interstellarlass

4. Better Safe Than Sorry

5. Texas_Ivy10

(leave your link in comments, I will add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Thirteen things is all I ask for, and what do you get in return? Linkage! If you do it, leave a comment here and link me to your Thursday Thirteen. I will be sure to update my entry with links to yours, and then you can continue the chain if you like! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Where is the sun?

2005-10-18T19:52:00.000-07:00

I used to love the rain when it happened in CA. It is rare, so when it does rain it is enjoyable. Well, I am sick of it now. It has been raining here since Sunday and I want it to go away. The kids are maniacs and I think it is because we haven't been out since Sunday. They are bored of the house and I am ready to sell them all to the cheapest bidder.

Mainly it is GT and GE. The two of them have been insane. GE has been so emotional and anything can set her off. GT has been looking for trouble. Plus he is a sympathy crier and cries whenever somebody else does. This drives me crazy. For whatever reason the two of them will not get along either.

I have been trying all kinds of things to keep them busy. Puzzles, coloring, auqadoodle, dancing, videos the list goes on and on. Nothing seems to make them happy. Everyone just fights with one another and pokes, kicks, spits and bites. Can't we all get along for five minutes? Thank goodness it is raining because this means the windows are shut and the whole neighborhood can't hear me yelling trying to break up the madness.

Tomorrow the weather is supposed to be a little better. I am taking them to an indoor gym that my friend owns. They seem to love it there. There are slides, ball pits, climbing structures, mini rollercoasters, tunnels and all kinds of other fun stuff. It is a good place to work out their abundance of energy. I have been taking them there once a week to break up our days.

Thursday we have a playdate with my triplet group. They love to see their friends and just play with other kids. Plus I get some time with other triplet moms to vent and see that I really am normal and everyone is having the same issues as I am!
___________________________________________________

On a side note, I moved GE from her crib with the side removed to her full size bed. I made a big deal that the crib was going to go to the babies and she was a big girl now. Big girls sleep in big beds. She gathered all her toys, blanket and pillow and slept there last night. No crying, no falling out, and a good nights sleep! We had a repeat at nap time. I am so proud of her. This weekend we are taking down her crib. I can't believe it! Now I have to work on the boys. I know it won't go as smoothly as it did with her. Maybe they will surprise me!

What a weekend!

2005-10-16T15:50:00.000-07:00

Oh my, were we busy this weekend. Now I am so tired and sore from all that walking! Saturday we took the kids to an airshow on base. We had to park so far away from the airfield that it ended up being about a 3 mile walk. I was really worried they would be scared from all the loud jet noises and helicopter rumblings. Not so. LC loved it the most and every time a jet would screech by he squealed and clapped in delight. He is the one who usually covers his ears when things get too loud around the house! They all loved seeing the helicopters, planes, jets and bombers up close and personal. They even were able to go in a few. GE even sat in daddy's helicopter right in the pilot's seat. It was really cute. We sort of missed the helicopter demonstration from D's squadron. We arrived a little late for that. So I would have to say the best part was the Blue Angel demonstration. They are simply amazing.

The kids walking with daddy to tour a helicopter
Blue Angels
Blue Angels flying in formation

Today we got up really early, 6am to be exact. We headed out the door at 7:30 to get to the mall for the Race for the Cure. D ran the timed 5K at 8:15 and then came back and walked the 5K walk with me and the kids. There were thousands of people this year. I think they set a record because it was so difficult for me to manuever around with the triplet stroller! It was sunny early and then during the walk it started to rain. I think the kids thought it was fun being in the rain. Luckily, I had them all wear hooded jackets and brought a blanket. They were all bundled and cute. I wish I got a pic of them, but because of the rain I had to put away the camera. It was a fun day for a great cause. I walked in celebration of my mom and aunt who are both breast cancer survivors.

After all that walking this weekend D and the kids are all napping right now. The kids have been napping for three and a half hours! Yikes, I better go and get them up.

Thursday Thirteen

2005-10-13T09:00:00.000-07:00

13 Super Sweet Morsels about Mommyd

1. I am so pissed about someone taking advantage of me. I have to confront this person and I hate being confrontational. It is all I have been thinking about. Talk about stress... and this person is supposed to alleviate my stress!

2. I got out twice this week without kids! I went and played Bunco on Monday with the neighborhood group and on Tuesday night I went out with our triplet mom's group for margaritas!

3. I am taking the kids to the park today with two other sets of triplets. They always have fun together.

4. I love the show Lost. I am really enjoying it this season.

5. I have decided to start the potty training process next week. I know my daughter is so ready. I went and bought a potty seat that fits over my toilet. I am hoping that works better then the potty chair. I also bought some m&m's for a reward for actually doing something on the potty.

6. My whole reasoning for jumping on the potty train is I found a good preschool for my kids to eventually attend. I am thinking two days a week for a half day. The key is they have to be potty trained. I would love to start sending them when they turn three. That is in February.

7. I hate cordless phones. Every one of my phones in my house continuously dies. I have replaced the batteries, always leave them on the chargers all to no avail. I am ready to trash them all and go back to phones with cords.

8. I am so ready for it to cool off a bit. It was so pleasant this past weekend and this week it shot back up in the high 80's. Today it is supposed to be 94! I am ready to ditch the tank tops and shorts already!

9. I have discovered a new wine I love. I am not a big drinker or wine fan so this is pretty amazing. Now don't laugh...it is a Firestone Riesling. It is so fruity and delish!

10. My dad totally missed my husbands birthday and that makes me mad. D didn't receive any calls or cards from his parents since we haven't talked to them in months. My dad can be so self absorbed sometimes.

11. The kids favorite thing lately is listening to music, holding hands and dancing around the room. They giggle and laugh and it is so fun to watch.

12. I finally went to the dentist after being really bad about going. I had no cavities and my teeth were in good shape!

13. I am so glad it is almost the weekend again. Saturday we are taking the kids to an airshow and I know they will love it. Sunday is the Race for the Cure. I love busy weekends.

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Jen's Horde

2. Petroville

(leave your link in comments, I will add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Thirteen things is all I ask for, and what do you get in return? Linkage! If you do it, leave a comment here and link me to your Thursday Thirteen. I will be sure to update my entry with links to yours, and then you can continue the chain if you like! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

A Maize Maze and Pumpkin Picking

2005-10-08T20:05:00.000-07:00

Today we took the kids to a corn maze that was carved into the stalks here on the corner by our house. It had a support our troops theme. The kids had fun trying to find their way out. Although it took us an hour to work our way through it! We had to hit five checkpoints and that was all the help we had. It was quite challenging.

Of course, GT had a meltdown halfway through because he fell down and got his hands dirty. I tried to tell him just to brush off his hands and that he was a big boy. Nope, he screamed his head off for the rest of the way through. I swear the boy has a meltdown everywhere I take him. He had one at SeaWorld, the zoo and the beach and there is no reasoning with him. LC and GE started getting cranky and all I had to say was okay we will leave then if you aren't having fun. They immediately stopped their whining and ran off with a smile on their face. Not GT, he screams louder when you try to reason with him. This frustrates me to no end. D ended up carrying him for most of the way out. Next time I need to remember to bring something extra for GT like a snack to keep him quiet when he starts the tantrum thing. I really can't handle it.

What makes me so mad is we already get extra attention because they are triplets. So when one of my kids acts like a nut that draws more attention. Something I can't stand. Once we made it out of the maze he cooled down and started having fun in the pumpkin patch. They had a ball climing on all the pumpkins and picking just the right one. It was a beautiful day here in the high 70's with a light breeze. The sun had a warming effect that was marvelous. Just made you want to take a deep breath, forget about the tantrum and enjoy the day.

Trying to pick just the right pumpkin!
Checking out the scarecrow
Finding our way through the maze

Perspective

2005-10-07T16:17:00.000-07:00

I was just emailing with one of my best friends from college. She lives in PA and we don't get to see or even talk to one another very much. She told me some very disturbing news. It has been the day for disturbing news actually.

One of my sorority sisters and former roomates in our sorority house passed away in February. I find this news shocking. She was only 32. Turns out she was trying and trying to have children and went into the doctor to have some tests run regarding her fertility. They found out that she had cervical cancer. She ended up having a full hysterectomy and then found out it spread to her brain. She had surgery again and then was given a couple months to live. I can't imagine. Her poor family and husband. I guess all her close family and friends were around her when she died.

Then I also found out that my childhood best friend's husband just had a stroke at 32! They ran all the tests and can't figure out why. Everything came back normal. I guess that is good news, but why did it happen? He is numb on his right side, but has limited mobility. They have two little boys that are 5 and 4. Scary.

I am so saddened by this news. It really makes you put your life in perspective. Treasure what you have. I know on some days I get so caught up in the daily stress of raising triplets and being a military wife that I don't take time to enjoy life. Enjoy my children and enjoy the time I do get to spend with my husband. I really am going to do that this weekend. Enjoy every minute even if they are filled with tantrums!

Thursday Thirteen

2005-10-06T14:30:00.000-07:00

13 Super Sweet Morsels about Mommyd

1. I slept through the entire night last night. No little two year olds woke me up at all! Heaven!

2. I am so anxiously awaiting the weekend to spend time with D and my kids together as a family. We are going to take the kids to a corn maze that is huge and hopefully pick up some pumpkins for the kids. It is half off admission weekend for the military which makes it even better!

3. I bought my kids their Halloween costumes and they quite possibly are the cutest...Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse and Tigger I have ever seen. The best thing is they love their costumes and have been shouting "Trick or Treat" ever since. I love Halloween so this just makes me smile.

4. I heard some really good news yesterday and I can't say what yet, but it could be the best news all year. I will update when I am able to.

5. D and I signed up to do the Race for the Cure on the 16th of October. It makes me feel good to do something to support a great cause. My mom is a survivor and I am doing this race in her honor.

6. I just found out my best friend and her family are going to come for a visit in April or May next year. She hasn't been out to see me since we built our house. I am so excited for her trip.

7. My daughter has been calling me Mom. This just cracks me up. She must of heard me talking to my mom when she was visiting. It makes GE seem so grown up.

8. D's birthday was yesterday and he made me feel special by saying that I am so important to him and mean the world to him.

9. I have almost all my Christmas shopping done for the kids! I hate rushing around at the last minute so I am absolutely thrilled about this.

10. I trapped a spider under a cup yesterday for D to kill when he got home (I have sever arachnophobia). When I went in my bathroom last night to tell him the cup was sitting on the tub. I asked if he had moved the cup and GE proudly said "no mom I moved the cup"! I was worried that spider would come back for the rest of the night!

11. My hair is finally growing back into my bald spot from all the stress I have entailed. I can finally stop worrying about that. Whew!

12. The furniture I ordered for my office is finally going to come in around the 17th. I received a call from Ethan Allen this past week. I can't wait to finally unpack the last of our boxes from our move. I hate clutter!

13. It is a beautiful day out and I plan to take the kids outside to play after their naps to get some fresh air!

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!

1. Supertwinsmama
2. Petroville
3. Sleeping mommy
4. Interstellarlass

(leave your link in comments, I will add you here!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!

Leave me alone!

2005-10-05T14:47:00.000-07:00

The pain of multiples...when it is not one it is the other.

GE miraculously sleeps fine now. I guess it just took her some time to get used to her bed without the side on. I dread switching her to the full size bed in her room for fear that will screw everything up again!

Now LC has been waking every night, sometimes twice a night. If my kids have a bad dream that is totally acceptable to cry and wake me up. That can be scary. I have no problem coming in and comforting you and putting you back to bed. When you wake up the second time because your toes come uncovered or you want a choo choo book that is when I get a little pissed.

I have a hard time falling back to sleep after I have been awakened. If I am going into comfort and lay you back down quickly I usually can go back to sleep. When I have to get up multiple times for multiple children...I can't sleep!

Then last night, after LC woke me up, my brand new ceiling fan was making a clicking noise that was driving me crazy. I can't sleep without the fan on and last night I couldn't sleep with it off. So after going to bed at 10:30 and then LC woke me at 11:30 I couldn't fall back to sleep until 1am. Then he woke me again at 2:30am. By then I wanted to scream...leave me alone!

Of course, D slept right through all of this. It is his birthday today so my birthday gift to you is sleep. Enjoy it, I never get to.

Broken sleep

2005-10-03T10:36:00.000-07:00

So this sleeping in a big girl bed isn't going as planned. Every night since I put GE in her crib, without the side on, has been exhausting. She has been waking up on average twice a night screaming at the top of her lungs. She no longer falls out of bed, but her animals, blankets and babies do. I have engrained in her brain that she cannot get out of bed, so when these items fall out she screams for me to come and get them. I am trying to reprogram her into knowing that if something of hers does fall out she can get out, pick it up and get back in bed. That isn't working. D said she is screaming most of the time because she doesn't feel as secure without the side on. I ended up putting a night light in her room on Friday because I also thought she was scared. That worked a little. The screaming isn't as bad and she doesn't have such a fear of going to bed. I even finally broke down and gave all the kids pillows to make bedtime a little more exciting. I had never given them pillows before for fear of suffocation. I know, I am overly paranoid. Pillows were a big hit and the boys and GE love them. I even pared down all her items allowed in bed to two babies and a stuffed animal.

I was so overly tired from the twice nightly awakenings that I didn't hear a thing last night. I don't know if GE cried. At 8am I woke up well rested for the first time in a week. I was a little nervous that something had happened and I hadn't heard it. I went and peeked in on her at 8 and she was sound asleep with her blanket and an animal on the floor. I went to go take a shower and sure enough she had woken up and started screaming because she saw her things on the floor. I went in and covered her back up and gave her her animal. Told her mommy was going to shower and she said okay and snuggled in.

The problem with all the awakenings is it is making her overly grumpy and tantrum like. This morning she screamed for an entire hour because why? I have no idea. Everyone sat down to breakfast to eat waffles and pears and she just wasn't having it. She screams and bites herself and throws her fork and sippy. It is truly awful and makes me want to lock her in the garage until she is 20!

My big girl

2005-09-28T13:32:00.000-07:00

I. hate. teething. Why, as parents, do we get punished over and over and over? I already went through the teething thing and here we go again. My daughter is getting her two year old molars. She is the devil right now. Screaming and flipping out over and over. Please help me. I can no longer take her outbursts. She is the first one to get her two year old molars too. I have two more kids to go. That is eight more teeth. She got her bottom two molars two weeks ago and now the top ones are coming in.

Her temper is scary. Monday she was having such a fit when I got them up that she was acting possessed. I told her to go back in her room while I got the boys dressed. She was kicking and screaming in her room and then I heard a loud bang. Turns out she was climbing back into her crib and she popped the side off! Broke the plastic piece that helps the wood rail slide up and down. It then fell on her. She was fine, but her crib is not. I had been wanting to take the side off to get her used to sleeping in a big girl bed. We need to make that transition for all of them before D leaves for Iraq. I wanted to have her go first because she is the best sleeper. Didn't really want to do that on Monday though.

At nap time I made a big deal how she was in a big girl bed. I was counting on her to be a big girl and stay in bed and sleep. Telling her that even when she wakes up she needs to stay in bed until mommy comes in to get her. She listened intently and said she was a big girl.

I was down stairs during nap time and heard a thud. I ran up there and peeked in. She must have fallen out, but had climbed back in. A short while later I heard another thud. I checked again and she was back in bed going back to sleep. After nap time was over I found her sitting in bed chatting with all her babies and animals. I praised her and she was beaming. That night I was a little worried because it was going to be a whole night not just a couple hours. She did great though and I found her in bed in the morning chatting away!

Yesterday at nap time she didn't fall out at all and last night we only had one incident of her falling on the floor. She was so tired from her screaming fits all day I found her curled up in a little ball sleeping on the floor! I told her she was so sleepy that she fell out of bed. She climbed back in with her eyes closed and went right back to sleep. (Her crib is on the lowest setting so even when she does fall out it is a small drop. No risk of injuries!)

My baby is getting to be a big girl. Pretty soon we will get rid of all three cribs and they will be in beds. Another major milestone! I know it won't be such a smooth transition with the boys though. I might have to gate their room, otherwise I would find them roaming the house at night!

Stay busy, busy, busy

2005-09-26T15:26:00.000-07:00

I stayed really busy this weekend. Trying to push all the bad news aside. Saturday I went back to dream dinners. I made 13 more meals for the low, low price of $200. Once again, just dreamy. I told D that even when he goes to Iraq I am still going to go to dream dinners because who wants to cook for themselves? Plus, by then I think the kids will be eating more than maccaroni and cheese and pb & J for food. At least, I hope!

When I got home D had started on our flagstone path and I helped. We worked on it for the rest of Saturday late into the night with help of one of D's friends and all day on Sunday. By Sunday night it was finished and I am so pleased. It looks great and got rid of our swamp land on the side of our house. I am completely exhausted today though from all that heavy lifting and manual labor. Yikes, I am feeling old since every muscle hurts right down to my finger tips and toes. I haven't worked that hard on a project in a long time, but what an accomplisment to get it done in a day and a half!

Looking at the path from the side garage door
Looking at the path from the backyard

Today I took the kids to Target to get out. I had GE sit in the regular spot in the cart and put GT and LC inside the basket. We looked like a sight, but I didn't feel like bringing the stroller and it is so hard to have them walk because they want to go in three different directions lately. We picked up all kinds of fun Halloween decorations, Halloween books and some other necessities. We received several comments on how well behaved they were for two year olds which made me feel good!

I think the key to the next year is going to be....staying busy! When I do that the days seem to pass and the sadness stays away. Thanks for everyone's nice thoughts and caring comments. You definitely made me feel better.